Thursday, November 1, 2018

Annual entry

It's been almost a year since I wrote anything here. Browsing through my other links of my friend's/ acquaintance's blogs, not many are still active so I doubt many will see this.

Life has indeed go on.

So much has happened since my last entry. Many ups and downs, worries, stress, joy, success and failures. I have learned so much and I hope I am a better person.

What triggered this random visit? Well, not much, just boredom from the mundane routine life. I don't find anything on internet as interesting as I used to. Hobbies have all gone down the drain. I want to dance again, be flexible, be able to jump and split, be able to have my stamina back. I want to play music again, to express the emotions without words, to entertain others. I want my resilient in finishing a book, I struggle to keep my eyes open after a page of anything. I want to be young and fit again. To have all those angst and energy.

I have been receiving snail mails from my friends recently which totally cheer me up on a boring day. So much has changed but we are still who we were, deep down. Childhood is such a precious phase of life. So innocent, so much to experience and learn. Not that I am very old but I do feel older. I am not as active, as fit, as flexible, as absorbance as I used to be.

I find myself losing confidence and self esteem still (nothing changed in that department) but having a good face mask to give people the confidence in me. But deep down, I worry and doubt all the time. I told my supervisor this as a small chat along the corridor and the reply was 'you should be more cocky, you deserve it.' LOL

I just want to turn back time. Maybe I need a break, a real break from everything.

PS- it's autumn, dark by 5pm hence the emo-ness. Apologies.