Phew

After a long and emotional day, I sat on my bed with the laptop on my lap and started typing the email explaining how the press misquoted me etc.

Before clicking send, I was asking myself what's the reason for me to explain myself. Do I even need to do anything about it? Am I just overly sensitive?

I did the best thing I could think of- ask friend's opinion. Back at home, it was almost 7ish am so I was hoping there're friends who were up and could give me their opinions and lo and behold, someone was awake and gave me a better view of the situation.

SENT.

And I am very very please the reply I got back the next morning.

A huge sigh of relieve =)

Everything is fine and back in order. Next up, write up and improve the report etc....One thing at a time, no stress or pressure right?

As predicted

Yup, as predicted. The article came out today after the interview yesterday afternoon. How did I find out? When I went to the ward since I had an hour to kill before the clinic started.

I walked in, my 1st consultant saw me and went
' Oh, someone appeared in the newspaper with a huge picture of herself. What's more interesting is the choice of career...'

I was like 'Huh? What?'

So I went and bought the paper which cost me 60p and there was the article, taking up half the page of the newspaper with my huge head in the middle.

OMG, the things that were written was so....argh!!!!

I'm so embarrassed =/

I feel so bad. My consultant must have felt like he was being cheated by me or something.

Today has been a long day......=/

I should write an email to explain myself but I actually don't have any particular reason to but I feel like I should....should I? Hmm...

Long overdue comments

Hello peeps,

I finally finished my long overdue report. Well, I was not given a deadline hence I was procrastinating and feeling amotivational but finally after sitting on my bed with my laptop for 10hours, a week of few working paragraphs turned into a report of 2600 words. Phew....next on the list to do is....argh so much to do!!!

Right, regarding the winning-competition-I-am-so-dead issue. Dundee had a same regional competition on Wednesday and a few of my friends/ IMU peeps joined too! One of them called to find out what were my stations to better prepare himself and I was thrilled to know that I might have a familiar face when I get to the Finals but sadly, I am still going alone.

In relation to the article, I have tonnes of things to comment. Firstly, why on earth is my age revealed? Is it important to show how old am I? Gosh, I feel so old looking at my age spelled out in front of me. Next, before the article was released, I was asked to fill up the feedback form and I did not know that they were using what I wrote in the form to represent my thoughts in the article. Of course what I wrote was not copied word to word hence it felt weird reading things that I supposedly say but oh well, nothing to complain about since the gist of it is similar. Tonnes of things to comment? Not.

 The most updated thing about the competition is appearing in the Evening Express newspaper and next week, I am going to have an interview by a newspaper reporter from Press and Journal. Apparently Press and Journal is the more serious proper newspaper so I am kinda worried as to what will happen when I am featured in their 'People's Page' section. Why am I feeling bad? Because my Psych consultants are pushing me into the specialty and I have to admit, psych has always been an interest to me but I am interested in Surgery as well. I might come out straight and say this, I like all specialty as long as the consultants and doctors are nice so I dislike Orthopedic. Pediatricians are one of the nicest doctors around but I dislike children so paeds is out of the question.

My psych consultant like I mentioned in my previous post told everyone including my new Psych consultant (I just changed department after 3 weeks) that I want to be a Psychiatrist. Right, what do you say when you are in the situation where you can only answer yes? You answer YES! So I have been saying YES when my previous Psych consultant say 'Jene wants to be a Psychiatrist.' Now, if he reads Press and Journal and found me in an article saying I like Surgery as well, how am I going to face him??!!! ARGH!!!

I'm in deep shit.

Oh, my current consultant stays in between of Elgin and Aberdeen and he does clinics in Elgin for 2 days. I want to go Elgin because I want to meet the doctors there and it's nice to see how he conducts his clinics in Elgin. Fine, I just want to go Elgin because I want to meet the doctors there. Anyway, since he can't fetch me from Aberdeen to Elgin, I proposed the idea of taking the train and meeting him there but he suggested
'If you are brave, you can stay overnight at my place and we can go to the clinic the next day. I have a spare room'

WOW....staying at a consultant's place??!! I'm quite excited with the idea because I can see how a normal Scottish family is like at home. I told my housemate and he was scaring me with things like 'oh, ang moh likes to have affair etc' But he has a family with 3 young kids! The youngest is 2.5 years old so nothing will happen right? But I don't know if he suggested because he's being polite and nice or he really does mean it. Well, I'm going to risk it and just ask him if he means it but giving him a leeway of saying no as well.

Let's see...

I'm dead terrified now...

What have I got myself into. I should be feeling proud right? But what I'm feeling is fear and embarrassment...

I was with the social worker visiting patients and also was with my consultant psychiatrist at another town called Peterhead which was 1 hour drive away. Around late morning, my phone kept vibrating with messages and I just ignored them until I had the chance to look at them at late afternoon and boy was I surprised with all the messages from whatsapp, text messages and FB messages and notifications. It didn't feel right but I didn't open any FB page, instead I replied the text messages and whatsapp and OH NO....

If you are interested in knowing what's going on, try clicking this.

I am not joking when I said I am terrified.

You guys should have seen the first few pictures after the result was announced, I was really shell shocked and it was obvious on my face! Thank goodness those stupid looking face pictures were not put up. Not that any pictures with me in it looks good.

The most I did a week before was watch YouTube channels since I did not get any formal teaching at all. The others were taught when they were in their first or 2nd year so clearly, nothing will happen to me but Boy was I wrong...

I feel kinda bad because I told my Psyc consultant that I WAS interested in Psych (and he stopped me after I continued with BUT...), then he told his team that I AM interested, then few days later he told most of the ward nurses that I WANT to be a psychiatrist then it became I WILL be a psychatrist.....I feel so so bad now....I have to admit that I am interested in it but as a career?? Not too sure about that. I think that's his way of making me get back to the psych route and maybe he does it with other students =P

Right, now to finish up the mock OSCE and get over with it....

Ranting Time!!

It has been ages since I wrote here. I have so much bottled up that I feel like I'm suffocating.

It's so difficult to come up with a blardy decision when no one is contributing and no one cares. But freaking hell, this is meant to be a blardy batch event, not my freaking own event. Yes, history has repeated itself but nothing has changed. Yes, I am still doing most of the stuff alone while the others just wait and depend on whatever I'll do. I freaking hell sure that in the end, they'll be not happy with this or that or whatever. I freaking am tired to be in the difficult situation. I'm so tired of compromising for both sides. I can't make a decision because it is not mine to make. Like I say, it's a batch event, not my event and I can't, I just can't take up the role of the dictator and decide everything but you blardy hell guess right. If I were to take up that dictator role, I won't even have to feel this way. Unlike when I was in band, I was given the power to be the dictator and boy did I never had such hard time making decision because I knew it was mine to make, I knew I in the end was the one making the decision but this time, it ain't the same....I'm just so tired. Came up with a compromise suggestion but somehow no one is still really happy. Ya, it's a freaking compromise so everyone will never be satisfied but I just hate how people become so grumpy around me and sending me text that shows how annoyed they are. This is it. I'm going to draw a line and I don't freaking give a damn if I'm going to lose a friend or whatsoever. If it really comes to that, so be it, I am way better off that way than to be this nice person tolerating all the shit I'm receiving from this end. Why is my batch this way? Why are they not as unite or as close as our seniors? At least the senior batch, there is at least 4-5 of them who are a clique but my batch are so separated. I'm just so disappointed and so disheartened.

Besides having this slight hiccup, I have other troubles too. Well, too many in fact. There's one regarding my empty CV. I feel like I have developed amotivational syndrome. Nope, I have not smoked any cannabis but it's the same feeling. Haih, I'm just so lazy in doing anything for it. I know I need to do something but the thought of it just makes me feel so demotivated and I just want to sleep and not think about it. I'm so so dead =/

There's another regarding something that I've applied few months back. It has been processed but half way through, the officers noticed that something was not right and I need to re-do some part of it and it was so much hassle because I'm here not there and everything needed to be done asap and I have so much on my plate and having this was not helping with all that I'm going through. But luckily after much worrying, stressing and asking for help, I got it settled and finally the document has been sent away. Hopefully everything will be alright...

Then I had to reject my friend's invitation to Germany because it was too cold and mom was not very happy with me going to such places at such season so I've decided to go to Italy (way down south) and after much planning and stuff, my mom still have much to pick and complain. I am just so tired and have not been in the best mood to talk to her lately. I prefer sleeping to escape everything and that was what I do yesterday. I switched off my phone and just ignored it for the whole night and morning. I knew I can't escape forever so I switched it on and got all the messages etc....if only I can just sleep and never wake up...

Every month, I make it a point to send my dad an email because I don't skype with him that often since he travels most of the days and he replied me something that really hit home.
'Hope to hear more good news fr u, pa always worry u r alone there but pa believe u can solve ur problems unlike ur sis. Cheer and be happy'
The end where he mentioned my sister just made me laughed so hard LOL

Then yesterday before I switched off my phone, I realised that I have not been talking to my best friend for quite some time. Well, I sent her messages but she rarely replies. I just feel so sad because we were so close and even not meeting for months, we can still talk for hours non stop and just enjoy each other's company but realising that she has not been replying my messages just made me feel so depressed. I blame myself for not making enough effort. Yes, we both are busy but if we make the effort to keep in touch, I'm sure we will be still close with other. But thankfully, she replied this morning and made me feel so much better =)

Another issue. I joined a competition just for fun and guess what. I won and I'll be representing the North East part for the finals. I am so dead. I know nothing and end up with such huge responsibility T.T
I was so shocked and even when they announced my name, I was stunned and shocked. Took picture with a very very stunned face and even one of the judges told me to not look so shocked and should be confident with my skills. Wow....die.....

Right, someone just called me and totally made me laugh so hard that I'm having headache now...

Ranting time end.

Updates

It's October, gosh time really really flies!

I'm in the midst of applying for my foundation year application and I am clueless as to how to rank the 21 places. Do I really want to go into the career that is on my mind? Well with what I'm doing now, it seems like it but I am scared of stepping into this uncertainty. Lots of what ifs are flying through my mind. What if I can't get the job in the end? What if I'm not good enough? What if I changed my mind at the last minute? What if....

Anyway...

I always believe that helping people is something everyone will do. No matter what happened and even if you hate that person, I believe in the end people will still help each other.
I guess I am being very very naive into thinking that way. Some people are not being brought up that way. I guess their parents taught them to think for themselves first. It is a dog eat dog world.

I'm not saying that I'm the best in terms of lending a hand to others when they are in need of help, but I would try my very best to find ways to make it work even if it requires some sacrifices from my part.

For example, my phone charger was left at my friend's place and my phone had 2% battery left. If someone else was going through the same thing, I would lend them my charger and just hope that they'll return it in the morning for me to charge my phone. Even though my own phone battery is low, I would still lend them or maybe charge my phone to a decent amount then pass it to them. Sadly, it did not happen yesterday. I guess, some people are taught to be selfish? Oh well, just a little disappointed in certain people. Now I know who I WON'T call for help when I need it but of course when I am needed, I will still be there.

This is something my friend dislike about me. I don't know how to say 'no' when people needs help.

Argh, I don't feel like ranting here anymore.....it's like I'm opening a can of worms.....

Right, on a positive note I found out that even though I am angry or being stressed, I can still see the positive light. Just like this morning when I saw a certain email at my phone when I opened my eyes which made my blood boil, I still managed to calm myself and be happy! =)

Ok, this post is getting no where. I should stop.

Birthdays

Well as some of you know, I prefer spending my birthday like any normal day. It's nice having messages, wishes and surprises but ultimately, I like to go through it like any other day. 

I lied.

I love celebrations, I love presents and surprises etc but I don't want to expect any because things always go wrong when I expect something happy to happen. That's how 'I'm going to fail all my exams' nonsense started.

Today has been a normal day and I am not feeling sad or disappointed because I didn't expect anything. Having to know some friends remembered today really surprised me because I never see myself as a very good friend to anyone. Getting vibrations from my phone in my pocket every now and then just put a smile on my face =)

I don't have any present from anyone this year but I got myself one. A sore throat. I have no idea why but when I woke up this morning, my throat was dry and it was itchy. Just like the past 2.5weeks, I was doing all the paperwork then suddenly I got this sharp pain at my epigastric area. Yup, Mr. Gastric Pain decided to drop me a present too. Great!

I was given a stern warning shoo-ed off by my reg by 5ish pm because I have been staying very late for the past few weeks so I left about 5.40pm and guess what surprise was awaiting me? Jammed lock. Yup, my key just could not unlock the door because the lock was jammed. I felt so lonely and so abandoned at that exact moment when I realised that I can't get back in my room to just sleep off my gastric pain and sore throat. Went to the sitting room and called the porters but no one picked up the phone, so I decided to nurse my gastric pain with yogurt. Then I tried calling again and finally they picked up.

After about 10 minutes, one of the porters came and tried to unlock the door with my keys which was obviously not working. Then he went back to the hospital to get the master key which obviously did not work as well because the problem lies within the lock, not the key. Finally he threw in the towel and called the works department. It was almost 7pm and my pain has settled but I was not in the mood for anything besides a hot long shower.

Waited for another hour or so, 2 works man came and used the crowbar to open the door. Yeah, finally got in and now typing this hoping to stream off some of the bad luck away.

**********

To you who remembered this day, thank you so so much. I really am touched and happy that you remember.

To the sore throat that appeared from no where, you are not welcome here at all. Please leave asap.

To the gastric pain that decided to surprise me as well, please go away. I am not going to feed you anything so just piss off.

To the lock on my accommodation door, please behave? You are vital and can't do this to scare me again.

If such situation repeats again, I will get into depression for sure since it's going to be winter soon. So please don't, I'm down on both my knees, begging you...Ms. Luck, can you hang around and shoo away all the bad luck please?? Thank you so so much!! Owe you big time!!

***************

My 21st b'day cake....sadly, the only thing I had for today is

yup, 2 hard boil eggs with some pepper.

Happy birthday Jene =/ 

My batchmate made one for me because she went to Aberdeen today. In fact, half the batchmates went back to Aberdeen today.

winking and slavery

Winking
Everyone winks here. At first I see it as friendly but after a while, I find it quite disturbing, creepy and a little perv. The consultants, the FYs and even the porters do so. Like what I mentioned earlier, at first I find them being friendly but at certain occasions, I feel that the wink was not appropriate. It feels very wrong. Maybe I am just bring over sensitive but I trust my gut feel and instinct and they are telling me that sometimes its inappropriate. Shoot me!

Slavery
I have been working like a FY1 in my ward because the FY1 now did not study in UK and he started his FY1 job late due to visa problem. So I have been over enthusiastic and staying late for the 1st week helping him sorting out paperwork.

This week, I got to know a M'sian surgical trainee and I think he told the other registrar about me and since then, the reg in the day has been asking me to tag him and even gave me some basic teaching. Thank god! Because the FY1 is starting to get on my nerves due to his bad habit and maybe a little from the M'sian CT1 who has been kinda constantly saying that he's lousy etc. Typical M'sian right? But anyway, this CT1 studied in Singapore so that made him 90% Singaporean and a M'sian by name and birth but not the way he thinks.

Besides that, the surgeons also allowed me to go theater to assist them! Me happy =)
So basically this week, I have been in the hospital from 8am-8pm. Yup 12 hours without food and salary lol

To be honest, I like the paperwork because it doesn't involve any thinking =P

2nd week in Elgin and I'm still not bored. To be honest, I don't mind working here. even though it's small, it's alright for me. In my ward, I'm quite alright with the nurses (I believe the FY1 in my ward too) but the FY1s in other wards always bitch about the nurses like other FY1s I've known. So it's a very interesting observation =P

I'm going to Inverness tomorrow to surprise JY since it's her b'day =)
Using too much $$ d T.T

My 1st Night Shift

I was planning to get back to Abd today then to Edinburgh and because the car I am following is leaving early so I decided to go for a night shift instead. Not guilt ridden at all since I'm replacing the 2 half days (Thursday and Friday) with a 12 hour shift and nothing happens in the afternoon anyway since all jobs are done by 10ish 11am =)

Went to the ward in the morning at 8am and stayed till 1pm. I was actually leaving by 11ish 12pm but one of the FY1 saw me and asked me to follow him to the x-ray meeting. I'm in the surgical block and the meeting was for medical peeps but since he remembered me (we kinda talked a bit when I was with my surgical FY1) and I was not sleepy yet and it's educational, hence I followed along.

So I tried sleeping after a light lunch but I woke up every hour from 1-5pm. I set my alarm at 6pm but I was hungry by 5.30pm and could not force myself to sleep anymore so I just went to the kitchen for dinner. I made a great choice because I kinda socialised with the ang mohs and even Facetime in the kitchen with my friend at Abd who is a mutual friend of this cute funny ang moh.

Left to hospital at 8pm and did some jobs, tried to read something medical aka DVT but just couldn't concentrate and finally by 9ish pm, the on-call FY1 came and picked me and let me tag along. I was quite tired and sleepy by 10ish 11pm but with all the walking around, I managed to not fall asleep =P
At around 10ish, a woman came into A&E after a hit and run and unfortunately died even after 45minutes of CPR. The news was on BBC.

Sadly for me, it was a very very quiet night. So the FY1 and the GPST1 who was also on call, together with me did some BMJ quiz on IV fluids and we were all half asleep and half awake, trying to figure out the answers together (team effort woohoo~) and by 4ish am, we managed to finish 2 sets. Chat a bit and by 5ish 6pm, walked around the hospital and finally settled at the surgery ward room and chat with the on call surgical reg who had 6.5 hours of sleep in the on call reg room (envy~).

Overall, even though it was a quiet night, I did enjoy it because of the company and educational value =)
It was really great fun and I was lucky to get this FY1 and the GPST1 who were both so entertaining and funny and I learned quite a bit from them too ^^

Currently, after 2.5 cups of coffee for 14 hours, I am so so awake and hyper. I believe I will crash tonight =/

Elgin =)

I am now on my bed in the hospital accommodation in Elgin and I am loving every moment so far.

Leaving the house which I previously called home made me feel sad and happy. Sad because I no longer have a place called home, happy because I get to see new place and travel. I don't know, maybe sad because I am not going to have so much fun with my new housemates anymore and happy because I can have my own room and meet new hopefully nice people.

The journey to Elgin was 1.5 hours and I was lucky to have L with me and we talked throughout the whole journey =)

Something sad happened in the train. Just before departing, there was this breathless lady who boarded the train just before the door closed and she was pleading the train master to let her 2 friends who were just right in front of the closed train door to board but the train master refused and stopped them. So this lady were almost in tears trying to talk sense into the train master but her pleas fell on deaf ears and the reason the train master gave was 'we are 2 minutes late, I'm sorry' then walked away. So sad...

When L and I arrived at Elgin, we were shocked to see that we need to climb 2 flights of stairs to cross the railway to get to the other side! I was with this HUGE HEAVY luggage bag and the thought of bringing it up then down to reach the other side just made me scared. So we decided to let the other passengers to go ahead then only we'll try to achieve the almost impossible. L had 2 suitcases so I stayed at the bottom for her to bring her 1st suitcase over. When she came back for the 2nd suitcase, I braced myself and got ready to die then suddenly this chap appeared and offered to help me. I was so so SO HAPPY!!
'YES PLEASE!! Thank you so so SO MUCH!!' was my replied and he without any hesitation just picked my luggage up and put it on his shoulder! WOW!!

The stairs that I needed to cross...

So when L reached the other side, she was =.= to see that I was helped =P
But I helped her with her smaller suitcase.

Reached the hospital accommodation and met my senior who is working there as FY1. Ooo, my room is SO SPACIOUS!! Anyway, went grocery shopping and I bought lots of fruits, yogurt and even spent 3 pounds on 1.5kg of Alpen cereal

which I fell in love with when I tried it at London.

After unpacking, L and I went exploring and we went to this restaurant called Scribbles for dinner.

I enjoyed my Penne smoked sausage (Slices of smoked sausage and roasted vegetables in a creamy tomato and basil sauce) while L disliked her Morco Polo (Strips of duck breast, mushroom and onions in a sweet plum sauce with penne) LOL.

Then we went back and had cheesecake (baked by one of my friend) and talked about dogs for hours...I miss Spritzer boy...

Happy-ly High....

After that pizza hut buffet and hanging out with my fellow groupmates, I felt so much better. I'm sure they think that I am a weirdo Asian because I just couldn't stop talking. Anyway, took a few pictures with them and even had a proper long conversation with one of the guys that went to Inverness with me. It felt different talking to a Scottish compared to my fellow Asian friends and it's really shocking that I can hold a proper conversation with them LOL

Anyway, I am happy and high. Ask my housemate, kepochi-the-busybody and he'll tell you that I AM HIGH. Laughing so loudly, giggling away and smiling all the time. Wonder why?

Let me tell you why. I found something fun! I am addicted to House MD, a FB game. Every lunch break, I'll rush home just to spend that 1.5hours playing the game and when I am home, I am on it 24/7!

Well, I guess I am feeling so much better is because I managed to detox from something, I am having fun and I am actually communicating with friends =)

Ooo, kepochi-the-busybody opened my gates of hell. I am eating crisps again but oh well, at least I am happy hehehe....

Now, back to packing to Elgin...

Blues...

Have you had the feeling that you'll never be happy again?

The feeling that something is missing and you just don't know what?

I feel like crying and sobbing out loud but I can't and even if I want to, nothing is happening...

It's so difficult to go through the day with such heavy negativity in me....

What's wrong with me??

Sunny Sunday

First of all, Selamat Hari Raya!!! I have to admit, having the sun shining so brightly on a Sunday morning on Raya day just makes everything seems fine.

I must say, I'm glad that I have friends who actually sincerely care.

I have to admit I can't answer the question
'when I'm in trouble, who will be there for me'
but now I know I'm not alone...

Thank you so much...even though you guys are so far away and we have a huge time difference, effort makes all these obstacles seems so minute.

For those who didn't know, I got a shocking news yesterday and I needed someone to talk to and luckily a friend of mine was there for me and of course not forgetting those that wrote to me too.

A huge thanks to you guys =)

THANK YOU!!

1st Movies in UK Cinema

Don't judge me.

I know I have been in the UK for the past 1 over years but I am a very homey person in the sense that I don't spend much on clothes or entertainment like movies in the cinema. No doubt I spent money on food but food is essential in life no?

Anyway, yesterday night I finally had the chance to watch movies in the UK cinema. Honestly, the cinema is not much different from back home so there were no 'WOW' factors involved like how I felt when I went to the toy store in London. Now, that was WOW!

Last night was a very very exciting night. I did something kinda illegal =P
I borrowed a senior's unlimited movie card to buy ticket for free. I know it's wrong and hence the excitement. When Kepochi-the-Busybody bought the ticket, my heart were racing and I was so scared that we'll get caught! And when we entered the cinema, I had real hardcore palpitations and even tremor! Yes, I'm such a coward. Hey, I got palpitations even by looking at the edge of a white paper of my classmate's exam paper during a small test so shoot me!

Bourne Legacy

I have to admit, maybe due to the excitement and adrenaline rush from all the ticketing issue, I find the front part a wee bit slow. I know they were trying to explain and relate back to the previous Bourne movies and hence it was kinda draggy but towards the end, it was good. Compared to the previous Bourne movies, I think it lacks something, don't ask me what.

The Expendables 2

Now this movie is just hilarious, corny and has very funny lame script. There were a few parody scenes such as when Arnold Schwarzenegger appeared, catch phrases like 'I'll terminate your butt', 'I'll be back' etc just cracked me up. Chuck Norris appeared too and Ennio Morricone's spaghetti western theme song plays whenever he presented himself on screen. (Is it me or does Chuck Norris looks like Tim Allen? )
A few other catch phrases were there to laugh about too like 'yippie-kai-yay' from die hard and 'what's next? Rambo?' LOL.
I like what Bruce Willis said 'we all should be in the museum!'. Yes, you all should be, so that you guys will be remembered forever =)

Right, I felt that this movie is just so fake with all the blood bursting at each gun shot and I wondered how hundreds of men can't even aim and shoot at this 6 hugely build guys. You could have thought that with so much surface area to aim, they could have got scratched a little? Oh and sorry but I have to mention about Mr. Stallone's and Mr. Van Damme's make up, too much foundation perhaps? And why Jet Li only appeared in the beginning? Another thing to note, Liam Hemsworth as Billy Boy was a bit cute for this movie maybe? But I am not complaining because he reminds me of Legolas in Lord of the Ring =P

But in all honesty, I like and enjoyed the movie. It's nice to see all the old famous macho actors come together and remind us of how great they were back then =)

Movies on plane

I know someone is dying to read something outside the medicine life but too bad, I am still not in the mood to blog about things to let you read too much into me =P

Right, Movies on the A380 plane that I managed to watch in between my 40 winks.

1. The Avengers

Yes I know, I am so outdated and so late but hey, don't judge me. I was preparing for me exams and there were too much to watch on youtube! So how did I feel about this movie, honestly? It was just OK for me. Any particular character that I rooted for? Nil, Zilch, none. Somehow, this movie was not as good as what I expected. Note to oneself, never set an expectation if you wanna enjoy the show.
I'm still waiting for the movie that will make me go 'WOAH~' like how the 1st transformers did back in 2007.

2. Battleship

Yup, the movie with Rihanna in it. Well, I thought that Rihanna was acting just like herself. I've watched her on Norton Graham Show and I felt in the movie, she was just being herself or maybe she was also acting in the chat show and if she did, she's good then no? Overall, I felt it was quite interesting and I like the characters in the movie. As you know, I was leaving my homeland and should be feeling homesick and all but surprisingly, I did not cry nor teared up during the sad parts like when the brother died. Hmm, I wonder why. I love Liam Neelson and every time I see him, the famous quote from Taken will appear on my mind 'I don't know who you are. I don't know what you want. If you are looking for ransom, I can tell you I don't have money. But what I do have are a very particular set of skills; skills I have acquired over a very long career. Skills that make me a nightmare for people like you. If you let my daughter go now, that'll be the end of it. I will not look for you, I will not pursue you. But if you don't, I will look for you, I will find you, and I will kill you' LOL

3. 50/50

There were tonnes of other movies to watch but I chose this based on Joseph Gordon -Levitt's face. From the poster, you can see and assume that he plays the lead character right? Yup, you guessed right. Anyway, it was interesting to watch him act as a cancer patient and how he cope with his life receiving treatment, watching his cancer friends die, talking to therapist, staying with a cheating girlfriend, having a friend who uses the phrase 'my best friend has cancer' to get laid etc and most of all, to have a perspective from a young cancer patient who did not see this coming. I have to say I paused to nap for a few times but I finished the movie and that got to mean something right?

4. Date Night

Yes I know, this movie is ancient (2 years old ) but 2010 was my huge exam year! Anyway, typical stupid jokes, cheesy lines yet an entertaining movie. Having Steve Carell and Tina Fey together was brilliant! Totally enjoyed the show =)

I think I slept a lot hence only got to watch 4 movies...or did I miss some out. It's OK, it's old movies anyway =P

Right, I'm down with runny nose thanks to the weather (but it was so sunny and windy this afternoon =/) and hopefully the movie and Japanese food plan later will work. Fingers crossed =)

Complicated

Things have been complicated.

I am going to retreat into my comfort zone again...

Remember me mentioning about 'gloom soon'? Well, it's more like 'gloom in the morning' because every morning, when I wake up at 1ish 2am, I go to youtube and watch tear jerking stuff like the petronas advert on Hari Raya (about the deaf and blind kid) and CNY (Sek Fan) then today, I was watching the tribute to Stephan Gately. Gosh...I don't know how did I end up there.

Anyway, class starts today. Hopefully everything will go on smoothly....hopefully...

For the complicated things, I hope it won't occupy my mind that much...just pray hard that things will be fine in the end...

1st day back...

Should I tell how great, cozy and nice was the A380 plane? Should I talk about how stressful was it to check in at KLIA or should I talk about how I have no homesick feeling or no tears involved in this journey?

Well, it's 4am and I have been up since 1ish 2am because I slept at 8ish pm.

What am I feeling now? I am not sure.
Homesick? Not really
Missing anyone? Well...not that much but we're all talking so it's not too bad
Happy that I'm back? Yup, love how cooling and clean the air is here compared to the hazy, hot and dirty KL

But in all honesty, it doesn't feel like I'm home.
New housemates, new place to sleep aka couch in the living room, new atmosphere in the house, can I still call it home again? It'll take time to let everything fall in but at this current moment, I don't like how I am feeling.

I have this nagging feeling that I am going into a period of gloom very very soon since I will be moving about every 8 weeks, Jene can't handle big change that often. and I'll need to learn to settle down as soon as possible.

But you know what, I am going to keep thinking and being positive. There's no point feeling gloomy when its not even gloomy here now. Think of Happy care bears, rainbows...

Ponies, unicorn....

=)

Things have definitely changed.
Seniors are all working and most of them went back to M'sia or Sg.
My fellow batchmates are going to be sent to different parts of Scotland and will I take the effort to keep in touch?
I will be alone most of the time with the fellow unknown local students at that specific part of Scotland for 8 weeks. Hopefully I'll be able to find friends among them like how I found mine among my groupmates.
I'll be a final year student and most probably won't be let off so easy when I make a mistake.

I really hate don't like all these uncertainties.

How I wish I have Hermione's time turner.....