I'm BACK!!!!!!!!

Hahahahahahahahahhaha...yes I can't stop laughing or smiling because I am happy!!!!

I just got back from the Genting trip and I am feeling so refreshed!!! Details about the trip will be written in the next post because I need to pack my stuff and get ready for tonight's dinner, Edmund's belated birthday party to be exact.

Anyway, I am soooo happy and not gonna be emo anymore (for the moment) so don't you guys out there worry for me ok.

I miss you guys and I want to thank Loong Mei Jean for organising this trip and I want to congratulate Jonathan Chew Ruzhe for getting over his fear and sat the Space Shot (after so much persuasion!!!) and me for not chickening out and give stupid excuses to not join. I cam whore a lot too (thanks to Izzy) and learned new words from Paul Lau and Alicia Ng (Don't cacau me & half moon -.-"') and thanks to Aminda for being so cool and infect all of us with her funniness and craziness...LOL

Anyway, I just want to say...I love this trip eva!!!

Ps : I love being random and crazy with them ^^

bad to worse

I don't know if I can keep up with the news that is happening but my life has turn from bad to worse.

I don't know if I can achieve what I typed previously- live life to the fullest and stay happy.

Its so hard.....haih...but I am still trying....

Btw, I won't be around until Tuesday. Going off to Genting with college mates and hopefully I will enjoy myself and keep away from more bad news....

new perspective

I was walking back from ballet class under the rain and I walked so slowly to give me time to think, to reflect on what has been going on and the things that have been making me so sad.

Result?
Friends?
Ballet?
Studies?
Family?
Blog?

What exactly is the thing that made me sad?
Everything that is not going according to my plan?
Friends that I care hurt me in their own way?
Results that I could not accept?
Ballet dances that are just demotivating me?
Family members that are NOISY?
Blogs that are offensive?
Studies that I have been abandoning?

No matter what it is, I will start afresh again.
I don't care what made me sad anymore.
I want to live life to the fullest..
I don't wanna waste my time moping around...
I don't care (this is hard to achieve) how others perceive me anymore....
I want to be myself.....
I want to be the bubbly, happy-go-lucky and dumb me......
I will be back!!!
Life must go on!!!!

You know who, stop calling me because I won't answer your call....





Today, I spent 7 hours with a part time ballet teacher who is sitting for her ballet teacher's certificate paper. Their course consist of completing few assignments and these assignments are getting harder...we spent 7 hours amending her paper when suddenly the whole fail was missing. It was gone from her thumb drive and it was really GONE!!! We did not press anything other than ctrl s!!! Gosh!!! So sad!! But we managed to recall as much stuff as possible but still, all the effort!!!

Thats why I couldn't blog earlier. Thanks a lot guys for all the comments and support and you guys just make me feel better.

THANK YOU!!!!! LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH!!!!

why...again

If you were lucky, you'll have read the previous post before it got deleted. I don't know why but this year is an unlucky blogging year for me. Firstly someone I don't want him snooping in my blog managed to track my blog and was so I don't know, annoying. Then, I blog something that offended someone again..... I am really losing it. I think I might not ever blog anything that got to do with my life....maybe ever again...

I know MJ might be shouting at me telling me its my blog so don't bother but I guess since my blog is not privatized, I can offend anyone with anything but well, it happened already so let it be then... My life suck this year....really sucky.....

Just to quote back some of the things I wrote that I think wont offend anyone coz I told him I'll blog bout it. This is from my Uni fren when I asked him if he likes Cadbury's Black Forest.

" You know gals are like chocolate (referring to Cadbury's Black forest). Its so complicated. First you need to melt the chocolate, then bite the biscuit and that jelly thing, then chew the jelly thing...SO COMPLICATED!!!"

Har har har...no mood to laugh.....

By the way, its Alicia's birthday!!! So Happy Birthday Alicia dear!!!

This Alicia is very tall, fair and very skinny/slim/slender and not forgetting very pretty...not the HELP Alicia (not that she don't have some these..lol)

poem dedicated by karam

The first meet....
I felt like I was making the wrong move,
as time passed along,
fondness grew among us and love brought us closer,
a circle called friendship was formed,
a circle which we promise not to break,
thou we may be thousand miles a part,
withstanding different weather,
meeting people complete opposite of us,
alone,
but at heart confident that thousand miles apart there is someone
someone who is praying for me
remembering me


Owh Karam.....
We were just chatting at Msn when suddenly he said he felt like..wait, let me copy and paste it here

karamdeep says:
let me tell u a poem .... wait ah cause i must think ... suddenly i feel like im a literature person ... low class 1

SWT...a low class 1 that just simply type something and touch my heart..or maybe because I emo now..Hmm.....Anyway, we were just telling each other how much we miss college life and friends around us. That 18 months really brought us together and we really bonded with each other. Such a short period of time but so many good close friends we made. I am so happy that I chose to come to HELP instead of form 6!!!

Since there is Made of Honour, I guess I can be Karam's Best(wo)man!!! hahahaha

Btw on 30th night, we plan to steal the limelight from Edmund even though its his belated birthday dinner. Muahahahaha.....XD

Aimless....

Its been 4 days since that dreadful day, I am starting to feel better or I should say thanks to my friends I am feeling better. Anyway, sorry if I did not receive your calls or reply your smses, just not in the mood yet.

So what have I been doing lately? Sleep late, wake up real late and starting to be my brother. No, I decided I'll do something better, clean my room and clean the house. So far I've cleaned my room, change my bedsheets, wiped off all the dust, changed the house curtain, and lots more waiting for me. I decided to be kinder and nicer to my family members and trying hard not to shout at my sis who is now abusing Spritzer. She is apparently taking the broomstick and chasing and beating him. I welcome you all out there who are dog lovers to kill her..Grrr.....

Now, its the COP week aka holiday. I am supposed to be at the mobile clinic helping out, completing my COP but unfortunately the doctor is flying to Chiang Mai and we got to help out next week. I hope her flight won't be delayed and I got to postponed the COP week again. Sorry Yik Jing and Nirmal.

JW aka my hubby is flying off to US by next month. Karam is flying off to ANU. Mae Yue is going to NUS after being with us for 1 semester. Sabrina is going to UNIMAS too. Everybody is flying off to somewhere and I am here getting scolded by mom because I am taking a break from the house chores which reminded me why I was so "into" the idea of moving to Vista which is just opposite the uni.

What to do next? What to do the whole week? What to do....feel so aimless. If I wake up at 6am, I'll fall back and sleep again because I know I have nothing to do. I don't know what to do!! Study? Study? And go through all the stupid stupid stoooopid mistake. Yes I know I got to study and face it eventually but....alright, make it tomorrow..I'll start to study...hopefully.

Besides house work, I have been playing online games!!! And also trying to find my bro's hard drive because I want to watch all the old movies. Last night he took it out from his secret hiding place and let me use it but I found some really cool online games to indulge. Hence, today I'll make it an "old movies" day. Lame? Its how I make my life fun......lol

I AM STUPID

Yes I am stupid, no doubt about it. What you can doubt is whether I am in the right course.

This is gonna be a long draggy emo post so don't read it!!























Exam paper was actually honestly OK, more towards the easy side because they did not ask about what nerves innervate the ear or tongue or eyes, they did not ask things that I thought was a big deal, they ask things that were common sense. Yes, small petite things that I don't focus so much like...haih...don't feel like talking about it.

After the exam, I had a good feeling that A was in my hand but after attending the feedback session where they go through the answers with us, I found out I got 20 questions wrong. YES 20!!! Thats it, I quickly walked out from the auditorium, listening to some shouting they got less than 10 wrong and worst, some of them were those last minute studying type.

Went to mid valley ALONE and watched 2 movies straight. "Made of Honour" (12.45pm-2.30pm) and "Get Smart"(2.40pm). Everything was fine until in one of the scene in Get Smart where the guy mentioned "uterus" and "according to medical terms", that's it, totally ruin it for me but it was so funny till I actually forgot bout it. After the show, out of no where, my group members were in the same cinema and shouted my name. Joined them but left them because they wanted to go bowling and I did not want to so instead I went CD-shopping spree. This is my first time out alone anyway so I want to do it my way, the way I enjoy it.

Yes, I used almost half an hour or more than that to search the 2 Cds- Still Fantasy and Phantom of The Opera. I enjoyed going through all the CDs, browsing through different kind of genre and discovering bands and songs that I never knew existed. Then when I looked at my HP (the vibration mode is spoil) to discover 20 miss calls from Ash so off I rushed to the bowling alley but they were no where to be seen, I guess I took a little bit too long.

They left the bowling alley and the gals went shopping while the guys went for pool so I went to get Baskin Robbins and suddenly met Eunice and Monica. I was actually feeling fine walking around alone, being myself in my own world until Eunice said "You alone? So Ke Lian (pity)" and thats it, add another point to my already overspill cup of unhappiness. Walked around asking myself if I looked dumb when Nirmal and Yik Jing appeared. Joined them and walked more.

Next when Jing got Gelatino, I already finished my 2 scoops of BR so I bought another scoop of Gelatino too. Yes I know I spent a lot!!!! Later, met up with the guys and how time flies because it was already 7pm. They ate the Hershley Ice-cream from Burger King while I stopped myself from consuming more fats. Walked more but this time with an aim-find dinner. We spent almost 45 minutes walking around looking for food and at last, they went back to Sri Petaling for dinner instead because the prices here are above average.

While looking for dinner, we passed by Chilies and that reminds me of college friends. If ever any function was held in Bangsar Chilies, I might think twice if I wanna attend because it held so much memories of you guys, of us spending every special occasion there (OK I know it was only about 3 or 4 times but still...). I miss you guys and I miss A level. After they left, I wanted to go home but I found out mom had class and there was no dinner at home so I walked again and looked at the directory and walked again and looked again and spent almost 45 minutes repeating the same thing until I decided to go La Manila.

I ate Mushroom soup and it was WOW!! The soup was in a bowl made out of bread!! It was so cool looking and I wanted to take a pic and posted it here but my HP has no cable to transfer the pic so I indulged into it and was so satisfied. The mushroom soup had lots of Carbo, and I mean lots---bread, flour, potatoes(lots of it!!), there was also mushroom and chicken meat. After that, HOME!!!!

In the train, suddenly I felt sad and somehow, my eyes became wet, Yes eyes were wet (it is supposed to be moist btw) but NO I was not crying. Reached Kepong and met up with mom(her class finished at 9pm so we were in the same train but different coach) and when she asked bout the exam, my tears just cant stop rolling down. I realised, I want that A so badly. The tears just keep flowing down even though I was home already. Dad called me, so I stopped the tears and sadly, he scolded me because I forgot to bring the damn "The Sun" newspaper back. Thats it, tears just keep flowing, mixing with the water when I bath, mucus was everywhere, closed my eyes to sleep while tears continue to flow.....I miss kakak......and I hate myself for losing the A.

My mentor said summative 1 worst you should get is a B+ but I don't get even a B+, I got C. Memories of me getting C back from primary school just popped out in my head. How I cried the same way, in front of the toilet door when I break the news to my dad while he was bathing, how I told my mom that I got a C when I was in form 1 and stood there, tears rolling down, how I got a C for FM trial and cried myself to bed....all the C I ever get always make my lacrimal gland hypersecrete (my grammar suck I know). I want that A so badly and I know later Ballet I'll definitely get more scolding....haih.....how a simple exam can ruin my weekend.

I was wondering, is ballet one of my distraction or I am just not suitable to be in the course? I totally understand why that gal who sold me her books drop out even though she got a B+. How can I survive with a C? I think I'll just stay at home everyday to study study study study....should I go genting? Should I continue Ballet? Am I quitter?? Let me emo....leave me alone....




Don't call me and ask me anything you know who.....

Exam mood? NOT

My exam is this coming Friday and I am sooo ready for it. Honestly, I was too desensitized by the seniors few weeks ago until I lost the feeling of sitting for the exam. Maybe you say because I am ready for it, but I say I am not ready for it and I am.....I don't know what I am feeling. I just don't really feel like studying for the exam, but I feel like studying out of fun and out of fun means reading through without memorising. Which is a big No No!!!

By the way, I was sort of proud of myself moments ago because I took Further Maths. YA, FM IS DIFFICULT!!! hahaha, not really if you actually grasps the essence of each paper. This whole week we had medical statistic class, having to relearn about sample, population and a few new things like cohort study and stuff like that. Basically our scenario goes around Diabetes Mellitus patient and blood glucose level or hypertensive pregnant women with low weight babies and stuff like that. We got to do hypothesis testing and all the chi square, t-test and I totally forgot bout how to get SD and all. Luckily we need not compute but just need to analyse.

Anyway, like what I typed- "moments ago" we had workshop because this week we do not have PBL. This workshop was about the statistic class and we got to answer some questions that were posted in the lecture notes. Me being the usual good gal did the homework/assignment (sounds pro a bit) knew what was going on while the others who has been busy studying for exam and ignored the assignments were blur.

Why proud? Because most of my answers were correct and batch mates in that class were...blur. What is the population? Err, the people in the hospital? Err, the patients in the hospital? Me-the Diabetic patients in Malaysia? What is your sampling process? Err...err... the list of people who participated in the study? (Lec- who participated) Err, the patients? (Lec-so how you take them as your sample?) Err, you ask them to join your study? (Lec-.......-.-"') Me- You get the list of diabetic patients in the hospital, either choose them randomly or choose them systematically like picking every 3rd person on the list. Yup, I was so proud and so quiet. I have the answers but I did not dare to tell the answer so I was jolly in vitro but not verbally jolly. Crap, what England am I saying??

Ya, since the day I realised that exam is only from 9am till 11am, I totally have been planning in my head where to go and what to do. I am going to Mid Vally (the only place I can go by train) then watch a movie and have different brands of ice cream for lunch and dinner. Yes, I am serious. But doing all these all alone is so sad. Usually I will skip meals when I am out alone, stay at some place and stick to it until I have company or don't even go anywhere. But now, after coming to this uni, I got used to be alone so I guess going out enjoying myself all alone doesn't really matter anymore. BUT, IF YOU WANNA JOIN ME PLEASE DO SO!!!

Here I am blogging while some of my friends are studying so hard. Here I am in front of the computer browsing through facebook while some of my friends are busy completing the AIR topic. I am so screwed...will I even pass if I continue with this stupid idiotic foolish slacking attitude?? Exam in 2 more days and I forgot most of the things I had revised. What mosquito head I have..Grr...and the library is soooo cold!!! Hehehe, but i found a temporary way to keep my hand from turning numb--go to the 4th floor's bathroom and put my hands under the"hot- air- blowing- to- dry- wet- hand- machine". Hahahaha

Some of the bookmarks sold, the one I was proud of weeks ago (the one I made and was sold for RM5 instead of RM3) LOL

shockingly surprised!!!!

I was on my way home, to be exact I was in the train and I saw this gal walking in. She was from CBN (convent Bukit Nanas) and she was holding something quite familiar. She sat opposite me then she took out the thing that was familiar to me. OMG!!! It was a rifle!!! Let me show you the picture.

Deep down in me, I never forgot my love for band stuff. The instruments, the music, the experience, the sweat, the sun, the anger, the fun, the blood, the bond.....I miss my band so much. By the way, KL band competition is today at 8pm but I don't think I can go since exam is this coming Friday. =(
I really love band and I thought after entering this course, music and band will not be in me anymore but I was so wrong because the moment I saw the rifle, my adrenaline was pumping and I really really wanted to wanted to...haih....so sad....

I just got news that one of my primary school best friend got married last Sunday. Apparently she has been with this guy for about 5 years and he is a rich guy. Nope, no accident happened. LOL, pure love.

Isn't it a bit too fast to get married? At 20 years old? Wow, what a long way to go. I am sure I will not take the path she choose because I get bored with guys very fast. I can't imagine being stuck to a guy for, lets say if I live till 60 years old....wow, 40 years!!! I'll die or might get a divorce in the end. Hahaha, thats why I am still single and very happy ^^

This is just so random because I am so in a mood...being naughty....hahaha, trying to be cupid here...LOL (Ale understand?). Btw, the friend that got married is Pui Hyen from SMKTBM ^^

Interview Test

Yes, we had our interview test....
Haha, no, actually we had our interview practice where IMU employ SPs (stimulated patients) to act as patients and we interview them. You might think it is easy, that was what I thought but in reality, you'll get so nervous that you might stone and panic and don't know what to ask.

The list of questions:
Name
Age
Marital status
Kids
Occupation
Reason to see doctor
Onset
Cause
What was done about it
Problem
Worries

Ya, this is the MUST ASK questions and since I was the only gal in the group and so happened to be the leader, they were pointing at me to start 1st. Thank god Ah Lean came in and rescued me and he started 1st. The SP acted as she was having tummy pain. After the 1st few question, her pain was so obvious and real that he stopped the interview and asked her to relax(so call tips from his friends). After that, he forgot what to ask and just stoned. SAD!!!!

Next was WJ's turn and he did it quiet well. His case was pregnancy and the funny part was when the SP said she has 8 kids and she is worried that she'll have another one. WJ asked about her husband and she said he is a businessman and is oversea. When I heard bout it I thought, wow is she having an affair. Later she added that she meets her husband in stages and WJ just said, oh. She asked back, you understand meh? Stages, you know? WJ just said ya and she asked him back what is stages? Hahaha, her meaning of stages is she is the 4th wife so to meet is hubby she needs to wait for the hubby to visit his 1st 3 wives!!! Hahahaha!!!

Hahahahahahah...Usamah was next and he was so nervous that his voice was sooooo loud!! yes as loud as MJ's voice!! And we were in a small PBL room so you can imagine MJ's voice times 4!!! hahaha...his case was leg pain and this SP acted as those uneducated Chinese old lady. When Usamah started speaking, she told him I know I am old but I still can hear, don't talk to me so loud!! But Usamah just said OK (still loudly) and proceed still in a loud voice!!! So end up SP also spoke loudly!! hahaha...Usamah was soooo nervous that when she showed him which part of the leg is pain, he look at it once. Then after that, he keep looking and staring because he forgot what more to ask!!!! hahahaha...she at the end ask him ~ why you keep looking at my leg? See once enough la!! That just made us burst into laughter and really made me relax and chilled. hahaha...

WC was ok but he kept grinning because Usamah was just sooo funny!!!! Vinod was ok too and I was fine too. Honestly, there wasn't anything scary or traumatic, just us thinking too much. LOL

Btw, vinod is the guy who was afraid of fish (BS video), Usamah was the guy who went "sir sir, relax" and caught hold of vinod to sit back on the chair. The other 3 guys were not in the video so ya....LOL

sick of studying

My whole body is aching especially my abdomen, deltoid muscle, trapezius, biceps and triceps muscle. I can't stretch my hands up to reach the ceiling because when I lift my hands up, my head would shout~ PAIN!!

Did I mention that I drag my whole family out for a jog yesterday morning? But end up jogging alone while they took a stroll. Anyway, it was a good work out and my body is telling me I am not fit anymore.

I should be studying since exam is in 12 more days but I just want to take a break. I spent the whole day yesterday just to finish my AIR topic. Its an essay that we need to write and limit our words to 300 only. The previous topic was about Atkin's Diet, this time it's about spermatogenesis and male infertility. My other friends spent almost 3 hours to complete but I spent the whole day as in 6 hours or more!! Felt a little stupid and unproductive.

I was so bored just now that I went and googled my name. No, I don't do this regularly. In fact this is my first time. So result came out and most of them are you peeps that have my link and surprisingly many have my links and did not inform me!! I managed to find out a few old old friends's blogs!!! Hahaha, got to take the chance to contact back each other and link them!!! I even found out about tags that I did not know about like Jo tagged me last year July and I was the 1st person to be tagged!! I have no idea about it!! Hahaha....

Ooo, found out bout this too!!! Voteband. Hahahaha...happy birthday!!! hahaha

Ok, got to link all of them and please get my study mood back. Wait, I haven finish my PBL research!! NOOOOOO~~~~

All in 1 updates

I am extremely sorry for not updating or visiting your blogs but I did not online or touch the computer the whole week, sorry.

OK, lets start off with the recent stuff.
Friends
I would like to take this opportunity to thank dear Yang Yang for waking me up yesterday. I was supposed to wake up at 5am because got to catch the train and Yang Yang insisted he will wake up at that time just to greet me "morning". I actually asked him not to because he needs his rest and sleep but thank got he did not listen and smsed me at 6am!! That sms actually woke me up and gave me that 15 minutes to get ready before Ale came. Thanks a lot Yang for not letting me miss the train ^^ Besides that, Yang Yang and I are just weird. Every time I take a break from studies and if I look at my handphone and if I think about smsing him (which sometimes I will not since he is using 016), suddenly his sms will come and will give me a surprise. Like this morning, I planned to go for a jog and so coincidentally he also going for a jog with his friends!!! So much coincident!! Its funny how 2 people that met once and for less than 5 minutes can clique and become such good friends. I guess that 8 hours of non stop msn 2 years back helped a lot (try to break our record!!). CK is my evil twin and Yang, you'll be my guardian angel ^^
Besides Yang Yang, I would like to thank JW and Daniel who will call me up instead of leaving comments or words in the chatbox (-.-") when they read something bad like me complaining about stress and all. Its just so funny. People, if I manage to blog it out, it means I will overcome it and don't get all worried OK?

Library
The cubicle in the library has been my date partner this few weeks. Its always the same cubicle at the same place. There's a sem 3 and sem 5 seniors who also like me sit at the same place at the same row so when we meet we'll smile and say hello. I am sort of skipping meals because I am seriously gaining weight. So few days back, the sem 5 senior left for dinner and before she left she asked me if I am going for dinner and well, I said I am skipping. Later she came back with BREAD!!! BUTTER BREAD!! All the sugars and butter and fats!!! But she was just being kind. So when she went to the toilet I quickly went to my bag and gave her my MnM chocolate and put a thank you note. I did not write who was it from and I told her friends not to tell her. Later when she came back she keep asking her friends and they keep teasing that she has a new admirer. It was so funny. After about half and hour later only did she realise it was me and she said "thank you" then few seconds later she added a "sorry". Hahaha, judging by her facial expression, it was just soooo funny!!!

And there is another sem 5 guy who sits nearby and is soooo obnoxious. He burps loudly and many many times, sit in a funny way, talks loudly and bully his friends and make them play catch catch with him!! He is a sem 5 senior and he is under PMS (partner medical school), so sia sui la...noise maker!!! Reminds me of Paul and Tatsuki...MJ, you remember?

Its quiet in library exclude that stupid sem5 guy since the construction work in the library stopped. But I guess I am just to tired to continue because I keep galling asleep. ISH....

Gym
Few weeks back I joined Reza and watched him work out using the gym equipment which is so sucky (most of them are spoil). But this few days I have been joining him because I want to develop my biceps. But recently Arthur came and became our gym instructor. Yesterday we managed to do 3 sets of "routine". Firstly we do 10 push ups, then lie back and do 10 sit ups then go back onto our hands and did 10 push ups and so on. It was fun and FUN!! Later, I also did plank and wow, I managed to hold for 3 minutes, the guys all drop down and gave up at about 1 minute. Will power rules!!! Gals rules too!!

Studies
Ale and Esther, if you are reading this chill ok. I managed to go thru most of my notes and unfortunately I managed to forget most of it. If you want to talk about stress, I guess I am not that stressed anymore. I think it's because I was stressed last week and some how I chilled already (desensitized). Now I am seeing some of my batch mates getting stressed too. Chill people!! We can do it....some how...and ya, just to remind myself which course am I doing, thats why it is tough (haha, excuses...)

Now, I got to continue with my PBL research and AIR topic. Grr....

Till next week, I think.....Miss you guys....