I AM STUPID

Yes I am stupid, no doubt about it. What you can doubt is whether I am in the right course.

This is gonna be a long draggy emo post so don't read it!!























Exam paper was actually honestly OK, more towards the easy side because they did not ask about what nerves innervate the ear or tongue or eyes, they did not ask things that I thought was a big deal, they ask things that were common sense. Yes, small petite things that I don't focus so much like...haih...don't feel like talking about it.

After the exam, I had a good feeling that A was in my hand but after attending the feedback session where they go through the answers with us, I found out I got 20 questions wrong. YES 20!!! Thats it, I quickly walked out from the auditorium, listening to some shouting they got less than 10 wrong and worst, some of them were those last minute studying type.

Went to mid valley ALONE and watched 2 movies straight. "Made of Honour" (12.45pm-2.30pm) and "Get Smart"(2.40pm). Everything was fine until in one of the scene in Get Smart where the guy mentioned "uterus" and "according to medical terms", that's it, totally ruin it for me but it was so funny till I actually forgot bout it. After the show, out of no where, my group members were in the same cinema and shouted my name. Joined them but left them because they wanted to go bowling and I did not want to so instead I went CD-shopping spree. This is my first time out alone anyway so I want to do it my way, the way I enjoy it.

Yes, I used almost half an hour or more than that to search the 2 Cds- Still Fantasy and Phantom of The Opera. I enjoyed going through all the CDs, browsing through different kind of genre and discovering bands and songs that I never knew existed. Then when I looked at my HP (the vibration mode is spoil) to discover 20 miss calls from Ash so off I rushed to the bowling alley but they were no where to be seen, I guess I took a little bit too long.

They left the bowling alley and the gals went shopping while the guys went for pool so I went to get Baskin Robbins and suddenly met Eunice and Monica. I was actually feeling fine walking around alone, being myself in my own world until Eunice said "You alone? So Ke Lian (pity)" and thats it, add another point to my already overspill cup of unhappiness. Walked around asking myself if I looked dumb when Nirmal and Yik Jing appeared. Joined them and walked more.

Next when Jing got Gelatino, I already finished my 2 scoops of BR so I bought another scoop of Gelatino too. Yes I know I spent a lot!!!! Later, met up with the guys and how time flies because it was already 7pm. They ate the Hershley Ice-cream from Burger King while I stopped myself from consuming more fats. Walked more but this time with an aim-find dinner. We spent almost 45 minutes walking around looking for food and at last, they went back to Sri Petaling for dinner instead because the prices here are above average.

While looking for dinner, we passed by Chilies and that reminds me of college friends. If ever any function was held in Bangsar Chilies, I might think twice if I wanna attend because it held so much memories of you guys, of us spending every special occasion there (OK I know it was only about 3 or 4 times but still...). I miss you guys and I miss A level. After they left, I wanted to go home but I found out mom had class and there was no dinner at home so I walked again and looked at the directory and walked again and looked again and spent almost 45 minutes repeating the same thing until I decided to go La Manila.

I ate Mushroom soup and it was WOW!! The soup was in a bowl made out of bread!! It was so cool looking and I wanted to take a pic and posted it here but my HP has no cable to transfer the pic so I indulged into it and was so satisfied. The mushroom soup had lots of Carbo, and I mean lots---bread, flour, potatoes(lots of it!!), there was also mushroom and chicken meat. After that, HOME!!!!

In the train, suddenly I felt sad and somehow, my eyes became wet, Yes eyes were wet (it is supposed to be moist btw) but NO I was not crying. Reached Kepong and met up with mom(her class finished at 9pm so we were in the same train but different coach) and when she asked bout the exam, my tears just cant stop rolling down. I realised, I want that A so badly. The tears just keep flowing down even though I was home already. Dad called me, so I stopped the tears and sadly, he scolded me because I forgot to bring the damn "The Sun" newspaper back. Thats it, tears just keep flowing, mixing with the water when I bath, mucus was everywhere, closed my eyes to sleep while tears continue to flow.....I miss kakak......and I hate myself for losing the A.

My mentor said summative 1 worst you should get is a B+ but I don't get even a B+, I got C. Memories of me getting C back from primary school just popped out in my head. How I cried the same way, in front of the toilet door when I break the news to my dad while he was bathing, how I told my mom that I got a C when I was in form 1 and stood there, tears rolling down, how I got a C for FM trial and cried myself to bed....all the C I ever get always make my lacrimal gland hypersecrete (my grammar suck I know). I want that A so badly and I know later Ballet I'll definitely get more scolding....haih.....how a simple exam can ruin my weekend.

I was wondering, is ballet one of my distraction or I am just not suitable to be in the course? I totally understand why that gal who sold me her books drop out even though she got a B+. How can I survive with a C? I think I'll just stay at home everyday to study study study study....should I go genting? Should I continue Ballet? Am I quitter?? Let me emo....leave me alone....




Don't call me and ask me anything you know who.....