exam in 3 days

Yup, exam is in 3 days and what have I been doing?? STILL TRYING to study. I totally lost the mood and urge to study yet I GOT to study. I don't know what my aims are too...

Why am I studying so hard?
To get an A??
Will I get that blaardy A??
So what if I finally (which would not happen in a gazillion years) got the result I wanted??
Who am I trying to prove ???
I have no idea....

I guess a pass now is all I aim yet I don't want just a Pass...I want more!!! =(

Few days back, my ballet stuff popped up and it gave me lots of headache. Don't feel like elaborating now.

I would say it made me find my life so meaningless as in what have I been doing since I stepped into uni?? Nothing besides studying.

I lost touch with a lot of friends..
I lost touch with a lot of interesting stuff in the world..
I lost touch with the things I am good in..
I lost myself somewhere sometime ago..

After this exam (which I hope I'll scrape through), I got to find ways to get back the old me, my old interests, my bubbly happy-go-lucky me, and most importantly my way of living my life.

I got to stop spending 24/7 studying and keeping to myself. No more!!!

disappointed

19 A
33 A-
35 B+
33 B
37 B-
29 C+
11 Fail

19 A...19 A...19 A...19 A...19 A...
Why can't I be in this group of 19???
OK, don't expect too high...

BUT WHY THIS 19 CAN GET A AND I CAN'T??!!!

='(

Maybe because I was never an A student and I am just pure average... haih

='(

flasher?

Just some updates to make my blog undead.

I got flashed or met a flasher or he was peeing at a wrong place on Saturday morning.
I was walking to the train station in the morning at about 7am. When I passed by the pipe that leads the way to the train station, I saw this man looking over a wall while holding up one side of his leg pants exposing his penis.
I looked away and pretended that I did not see him. It took him about half a minute to realise I walked passed him. He ran away after that. I don't know if he's a Malay, Chinese or Indonesian but I know he was not black.

I told my mother when I got home at night and her response was "you're a medical student, this should be nothing." Well, I was not shocked by his action but of all the penis I've seen (at ACTS and in the hernia examination video), his was quite long LOL!!!!


This morning instead of going to the regular Desapark City's Coffee Bean, I went to KL Sentral's branch. I was so bored and sick of studying that I started solving the sudoku in the newspaper. Suddenly I guess out of boredom, the barrister came and chat with me.

I think like what Tay said, I am good in remembering people stuff. This barrister is 24 years old, after SPM did not continue his studies but played football for KL. After 3 years, he was transferred to Johor and played for the state. He got sick with playing football that he stopped and started working. His 1st job was at Padini and it was boring so when he passed by this coffee bean, he just walked in and asked if there's vacancy. He is a part timer in this branch and also works in a marketing company (his English was not so good that I can't decipher some stuff he was telling me). He has a gf who works as a beautician. They are together for 4 years already. He used to go clubbing since 15 years old (he said he got in because he looks matured) and by 22 years old, he was sick of clubbing. So now he rather go to some quiet place or watch TV or sleep to spend time. His gf also prefer spending time like that. He is also sick of hanging out at shopping complex.....more but don't want to bore you out =P


Err, what have I been doing lately? Nothing much besides trying to study since exam is in 2 weeks time.

Oh ya, my last exam's result is out and I did normal. I was hopping for more but oh well....

The inside of me

A sea of familiar faces surrounding me,
Nobody tries to see the inside of me,

Cheerful and smiling face can be seen on me,
Nobody could see the uncovered me,

They come when they need me,
Nobody comes when all I have is me,

I do not want sympathy,
I want someone to understand me,

Just one who comprehends me,
The inside of me.

Of palpitation, muscle weakness and wobbly legs

Palpitation is the sensation of pounding heart beat =)

I had this feeling again when I saw an old friend of mine from high school just now. My heart was pounding so hard, my whole body was numb and my legs were wobbly when we talked for that few seconds because we were both leaving. Wow...scary!!!

The first time I experienced such feeling was in form 2 when I saw that person walking down the street near his housing area. Every time I pass by that street, I would definitely look out hoping to see someone familiar but I never imagine getting the chance so when that person was in white shirt and while long pants walking on the street, I practically melted on the car seat. My heart was beating so fast due to the shock and I could not even lift up my hands or move my body!! How my body works sometimes really gives me the creeps!!!

The second time was in form 4, in the school canteen when I was on duty and that person was walking into the canteen. We have not been talking for almost 2 years, but do see each other here and there in school. My heart stopped and my legs went weak when we met that time. At that moment, I thought that I might not have let go yet.

The third time was in early 2007 when I met this friend of mine for the first time. Besides palpitation, I know I blushed when we first talked. It's such a funny thing because when we meet again, I still blushed and still have the palpitation, just not that bad =P

After the incident moments ago, I was in the car still feeling weak, reflecting and trying to reason out all this experiences with these different people. I have yet to find out the answer and I am avoiding myself from thinking that I might be having some serious medical problem like heart failure or anemia? LOL

IT

I don't know if you remember 'IT', a novel written by Stephen King and later made into movie in 1990.

It's a horror movie about a children eating monster that dress up as Pennywise The Dancing Clown (Tim Curry).


I remember just a certain parts of it, especially where it comes out from the toilet bowl and ate one of the main character or the part where he turned into one of the dads then into his clown self then skeleton and tried to grab the kid's leg.

I still remember after watching the movie (at night) with my brother, I (and my bro) did not dare to go to the toilet alone and I think I peed without closing the door (I was 5 or 6 years old I think). That fear lasted for a few days and I was way braver than my brother who understands the movie better =P

I have been loading and watching it in youtube the whole day. This is the 1st part


I don't know if you guys watched The NeverEnding story or seaQuest DSV. If you guys remember, then I bet you remember Jonathan Brandis.

He acted in It as one of the main character but sadly, he commited suicide in 2003. Wasted =(

Next I watched 'Coppelia'. My ballet teacher lend me 5 Ballet CDs and this is one of it.

The story of Coppélia concerns a mysterious and faintly diabolical inventor, Doctor Coppélius who has made a life-size dancing doll. It is so life-like that Franz, a village swain is infatuated with it, setting aside his true heart's desire, Swanilde, who in Act II shows him his folly, by dressing as the doll and pretending to come to life.

A small part of it from youtube. Look at how she danced as a doll =)


This is what I have been doing recently..NOT STUDYING!! Argh!!!


PS:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JACQUELINE CHAN SWEE TIEN!!!