T.T

I have no idea why but I am feeling kinda sad leaving this freezer. I was sad leaving Inverness, and now even before actually leaving, I already miss Aberdeen. Gosh, what's with this roller coaster ride emotions??!!!

ARGH!!! My limbic system is so screwed up!

Post Mock Exam

What I would like to stress here is that I did not study for the mock exam and hence I have no expectation what so ever and hence the carefree attitude now. More over, I'm leaving to KL in another 7 hours time and what have I done so far?

The weekend before exam, I was watching The Mentalist season 3 and 4 and read lots of manga. Started flipping through the notes 6 hours before the exam. Came home after the written exam and was pumped up for the OSCE the next day but succumbed to the temptation of The Mentalist and manga so I prepared for my OSCE 4 hours before the exam.

After the exam, another episode of The Mentalist, packed my bag and was stranded at the train station because a tree fell and all the trains were cancelled. Thankfully after waiting for 1 hour, with the crazy cold strong wind and proper heavy rain, I could not feel my fingers but finally a bus was prepared for us. I had bus sick again and was sick a few times =(

Reached Aberdeen 4 hours later and took a cab to Jenan's place for an early Christmas dinner. Had lots of fun and laughter, left at 10ish, went home and unpacked, washed clothes, pack luggage for home and watched more The Mentalist, Skyped, Glee and manga.

It's 9am and I have not slept throughout the night and I am prepared to sleep in the airplane and hopefully, no plane cancelled.

See you guys back at KL soon =)

Oh I forgot to mention, I miss Inverness and my groupmates =(

1st snow and 1st foot injury week

I'm terribly sorry for not being as active as I should be here but this is one of my attempts to correct it.

Anyway, it snowed yesterday!!
It was dark and raining when I walked to the hospital at 8.30am, then at the start of ward round, the consultant announced loudly to the patient 'Good morning, 1st patient for the ward round and it's snowing outside.'

After that, I was looking at the window the whole time. Ward round? What ward round?

After about 10 minutes, the snow turned to rain again.

I shall make sure when it shows again, I'll be dashing out and touch it for MY FIRST TIME!!! Wheee....

On the unfortunate 23/11/11, I woke up from the study table in this hospital ghetto and transferred myself to my bed BUT I think my feet were numb and was sleeping as well. I fell in a very very awkward way.

Woke up few hours later with this shooting pain at my right foot and I could not move it at all!!! Got down from my bed and fell on the ground. COULD not stand at all

T.T

I panic!!! For my past 18-20 years of dancing career, I've never succumbed to any foot injury and my 1st foot injury is falling in a room half asleeply. GREAT, such a boost to my dancing career history.

Anyway, after panic much (got to go for ward round in another few hours!), I emailed my friend who we keep in touch everyday by mail and thank god I received the reply 5 minutes later. Was reminded the existence of 'ICE' so I dragged myself to the kitchen, put some water in a cup and let it sit in the freezer, then I dragged myself to my room and put cold tower on the injury.

After the whole thing, my foot became-

UGH!!! Fat and ugly =(

Shoes were tighter and I mastered the antalgic gait!

But yesterday night (25/11/11), I realised my right foot (the uninjured side) is getting shooting pain due to the extra pressure and weight it has been carrying for the past few days and while bathing I noticed my left calf is bigger than the right foot!!! WOW!!!! Great =(

End Of Psych

It's been a week past my Psychiatry Block. Boy was I depressed when it ended.

After that horrific 1st week, things settled and I really really enjoyed myself and learned a lot. I did a mistake by telling one of my consultant that I....if you know me well enough, you'll know what I'm not saying here. Anyway, he took the effort to tell the whole team and since then, everyone in the team would start asking me 'I heard that you're interested in Psychiatry.'

Well, I was praised quite a few times and it just made my day (the other consultant gave me positive comments and even added, 'if you need a recommendation letter, come find me')!!!! and this same consultant asked me after seeing my handwriting- 'Do you ave OCPD?'

So I took the time reading up personality disorder and I realised that I might have OCPD!!

OCPD is characterized by at least three of the following:

1. feelings of excessive doubt and caution;
2. preoccupation with details, rules, lists, order, organization or schedule;
3. perfectionism that interferes with task completion;
4. excessive conscientiousness, scrupulousness, and undue preoccupation with productivity to the exclusion of pleasure and interpersonal relationships;
5. excessive pedantry and adherence to social conventions;
6. rigidity and stubbornness;
7. unreasonable insistence by the individual that others submit exactly to his or her way of doing things, or unreasonable reluctance to allow others to do things;
8. intrusion of insistent and unwelcome thoughts or impulses.

Read through and tell me what do you think. Agree that I have some sort of OCPD trait? (I'm not so much of number 7 though, toned down a lot.)

So how did I end my last day of Psych? A trip to Aviemore with one of my consultant!!! The whole 45min -1 hour journey, we were talking non stop. Fine, he was talking to me non stop after I feed him with my ideas/ questions/ understanding about stuff. It was so fun!!

One of the highlight of the journey was me asking

'Do you psychoanalyse your friends?'

and his answer was.....

'Oh you mean the women I date?'

(I was thinking to myself, do I want to go there??!!! It was just an innocent question of a daily life, NOT personal life!)

Anyway, he did spill the beans about the women he dated hahahaha.....fun stuff!!!

One of the questions in the feedback form was 'how much time did you spend with your consultant?'

My friends answers were like 'a few times a week' while mine was 'almost everyday' LOL!!!! Well, you can't blame me since I was attached to 2 consultants while the others were attached to one!!!

Oh, remember from my last post that I was depressed and all the fun stuff? On Monday of my 2nd week of Psych, I talked to the Psych registrar and I totally felt better. Yup, I owned up the fact that I was lost and felt miserable and depressed since I came to this place. I guess it's either he psycho me or I felt better after confessing (shoo away the denial!) then I spoke to another registrar about it on the way home (he was kind enough to offer me a ride home, save my bus fare wheee) .

Wow, I know right??!! How in the world could I open up so easily? Maybe because I felt better and didn't think it was a big deal. I also told my consultant about my 'depression' during the long trip and he was like 'oh gosh, are you alright now?' Sweet~~ Hahahahaha....

In a nutshell, I really really like Psych and I miss it so much especially since I'm in the wards again and it's so different!! But after a week of cardiology, psych seems like a far away memory. A memory that I would cherish and treasure =)

Psychiatry

Well I just finished my 1st week of Psychiatry and boy am I lost.

Since I came to Inverness, things haven't been smooth for me. I could not focus on my studies, memory as bad as a goldfish, always feel so lost in the wards, don't feel settled in at all and I feel lonely most of the time.

Yes I do admit that I like to be alone (thanks to IMU for the training =.="') but Inverness is just not letting me enjoy my solitary.

Well if you have been checking FB, you might have glimpsed my status on Wednesday. I sat in with my consultant for his outpatient clinic and for the last patient, he wanted to speak to the consultant privately so the consultant asked me to wait at the library and he'll get me later. So I waited patiently from 3ish till 5ish and he didn't appear. I remembered that it's a 9-5 job so I went to his room and knocked on the door.

No sound. Tried to open the door, it was locked.

T.T

He left me....

Phone no battery...

Group mates left by 12pm...

Jacket was not thick enough for the cold cold freezing weather...

I got to wait for the bus...

I lost my pen and my favourite mechanical pencil...

T.T

Totally not my day....felt so abandoned...felt so lonely...felt like I am at the wrong place studying the wrong course...

Haih......

Hope things will be better soon...

And life MUST go on no matter what so can't give up!!!!

My Neighbour Totoro

I just finished watching this movie, My Neighbour Totoro (I'll continue studying soon =P) and it's so touching.

There's quite a few scenes in this movie which was made in 1988 that reminds me of Spirited Away =)

Well duh since it's made and produced by Studio Ghibli, written and directed by the famous Hayao Miyaki. Can't stop myself from announcing, I just love his movies!!

This reminds me of another touching sad movie- Grave of the Fireflies.

T.T

Both this movies are based around the Japan war and you just got to watch and experience it yourself.

I love Japanese movies because it always hit the right spot and just moves me to tears. And of course the music, definitely fit the scenarios all the time. I wonder how the Japanese do it...

Aaaahhhh, I miss playing the Japanese songs back at band times. Totally love playing them... Dang, now I miss my band life....

For this movie, I envy how the sisters are so close. I know my relationship with my siblings is far from this 'normal' but since I left home, I do think that I am closer to them in a way. I guess the phrase 'distance makes the heart grow fonder' can be applied here but it's so weird because usually it's used in a boy-girlfriend scenario.

Eeuuuwwww.....

Anyway, the bottomline- I just love Japanese movies =)

My Birthday Surprise =)

My birthday was another normal day because hid my date of birth at FB and made sure I didn't announce it at Skype or other places but my fellow friends here still discovered that it was my birthday at around 3ish 4pm =P

One of them who is in my group and hence was with me in the theater, watching the fundoplication, could not stop sms-ing around that 3ish 4pm and when I noticed it, my 6th sense just went crazy and 'they've discovered it??!!' thought was floating in and out of my mind. BUT I didn't want to expect anything so that I won't get disappointed in case it turns out to be a false alarm so I just kept my thoughts to myself.

Anyway, this friend of my insisted to drive me home but I stubbornly refused and even thought of making a detour and hang out at another place (wards maybe LOL) because I just didn't want to go home in case they have a birthday surprise for me or something somewhere. I don't know why, I was just being difficult. Bitch I know.

So I walked extra slow home (usually takes me less than 10 min to reach home but I think I took about 15-20min that evening) and I saw my friend's car parked outside my house. GREAT....

So I went home and after unlocking my main door, the 1st thing I checked was shoes LOL... Then my house mate who was at the living room was standing and looking at me innocently. BUT I noticed my stuff on the table was stacked up ON MY LAPTOP??!!!!!!! Very very suspicious.

Anyway, I just stood in front of my door and refused to go near the living room so my house mate asked me why am I still at the door and asked me to go over there but as you know, I just stood there and smiled and then I saw some shadow moving at one side and Jodie jumped out and said 'hap hahaha bir..hahahahaha' then the whole group appeared.

HAHAHAHA.....

Jodie who was also in my group who didn't go to the hospital because she was lazy? was the one who discovered that it might be my b'day because I think she saw people wishing me at FB and she also realised that during the game at the moon cake festival, when we need to line up according to birth month, I queued as Sept. So she called Thamarai, my friend at Edinburgh to confirm. She also asked Cheryl to check too so Cheryl actually went through all my wall messages till my 21st b'day but she was still not very convinced so she called my house mate to confirm.

My house mate was not supposed to know too!!! My mom and dad called me at 12am KL time to wish me through Skype and so happen, my house mate was beside me hence she found out too. So Cheryl and Jodie called everyone to my house and they even managed to cook some food! Jodie did her pasta (I just love all her pasta!!!), Cheryl cooked minced pork with potato, rice and vege and Janice cooked curry chicken. My house mate went and bought 2 cakes LOL....

Happy =)

My chocolate and toffee flavoured birthday cakes

Me and my 2 birthday cakes =)

See how my stuff are stacked on my laptop beside the choc cake?

The lovely girls who took the time to come and celebrate with me even though it's a Tuesday =)

What do we have here?

The food =)

So coincidental that everyone was wearing dark colour =)

After food, everyone was talking and laughing =)

My house maid, I mean mate and the girl who insisted in driving me home but parked the car at the place where she thought I won't see but actually it's the place I cross to get home LOL

Thank you so much!!!!

I guess after giving every birthday girl/boy a birthday surprise since we came here, the surprise element is gone LOL...

*******************

I don't know why but for this Paediatric Block, I really can't fathom why am I being so lazy and demotivated. I sit in front of my laptop and read up whatever that I saw at the ward but the next day when the consultant or registrars ask questions on the topics that I actually spent time reading, my mind just go blank and I keep hearing myself asking me in my head that 'I just read it yesterday but why is it that I can't remember anything??!!!'

This is just so sad.....

T.T

New friend

Today, like the past few days, Paeds have been quite quiet so JY and I ended up having lots of laugh with this 5th year medical student. He is from Aberdeen and since morning, we were teasing each other and cracking jokes and I totally enjoyed his company. The registrar also took some time and gave us a good teaching. Today was just the day of the week. I actually laughed till I teared. It's been so long since I did that. Fun =)

******************************

Come to think of it, before I came here I was stalking senior's blogs to find out about this place and get as much info about it as possible. It just dawned onto me that I haven't been helpful to those who are doing the same, I totally did not write anything about the hospital, the teaching or anything of those sort. Blimey, sorry peeps....=P

emails + Korean drama

I have been exchanging emails with a couple of friends but there is this one friend who I will reply everyday.

I would say we are close but come to think of it, we were not very very close when I was around him.

Anyway, the things we tell each other are what we will talk about when we are together.

But recently, I feel that we are getting closer to the point that I feel so weird yet happy when I read the stuff that are written in the email.

I was just sharing how happy I was to have Nandos after months of not eating meat and the reply I got was

YOU NO EAT MORE MEAT.....I DONT WANT YOU

Isn't it funny?? Hahaha...I never expected to end up having such close friend when I'm so far away =)

************************************

Did stupid stuff this week...

Watched Scent of a Woman

till 3am in the morning on a WEDNESDAY and had exam which I haven't study for on FRIDAY. This is so not me right??

Then on Saturday, watched Playful Kiss

for 20 hours straight....till 5am...

Now I got to get back my study mood to prepare for the next block- Paediatric which IMU did not prepare us at all...die...

I don't even have the habit to watch Korean dramas, thanks to my housemate who on her laptop so loudly when I was sitting beside her, making me watch with her and end up starting from the beginning myself...ISH!!