How I wish...

How I wish...

I can turn back time. 
But at this moment, it's something impossible so the next possible thing is 

How I wish...

I was dead. I now truly understand when you want to die just to run away from a problem, to not face the consequences. I haven't made up my mind if I want to die by my own hands or getting hurt by others. 
Maybe if I die saving someone attacked by knife or sharp glass and the it hit my carotid artery and I can't be saved. Maybe that's the way to go for me

How I wish...

I was not this dumb, this stupid to screw things up.  My life is now in a complete mess.

How I wish...

I have friends around me now who I can open up to and be comfortable enough to cry to or rant about my thoughts. 

How I wish...

I have a partner who can truly understands me, who can be with me or let me be as how I need. 

How I wish...

I am dead.