Rantings...

I'm just so sick of being used and not being appreciated.
I'm pissed.

You are leaving tomorrow so you asked me in the morning if I wanna meet up later tonight. I replied 'sure, what time and where' but nothing back from you even till late evening so I asked again. I even called twice to ask but you didn't pick up. Then I texted you asking if its still on, only then you FINALLY replied with 'hmmmmm... I'm meeting xxx at 9pm later. You wanna join?'

What the....You don't want to meet up in the first place, then don't suggest it.
Making me annoyed. It's not like I NEED to meet up with you anyway. Oh, and then another text followed with a favour from me- to leave stuff at my place so I can help her pass it on to the juniors.
Really?? Is that how you ask for a favour?

Later another friend from M'sia (this person's housemate) whatsapp-ed me and started pouring her troubles to me. It was about her parcel that was supposed to be picked up yesterday but the delivery people didn't turn up and her housemate is leaving tomorrow. She wants me to get the parcel and leave it at my place. She also suggested asking a friend of ours or a senior (both have a car) to get the parcel to pass it to me. Oh did I forget to mention that the parcel was 40kg?

I suggested that she could wait till tomorrow then only pass it to me if they still didn't turn up. They might come tomorrow. And since the housemate is leaving to the airport with her family on a taxi, they can get the parcel to me before heading to the airport with the same taxi. Troubling others just because they have a car is not the right way to go.

Noooooo... In the end still troubled the people with car with reasons like 'later the delivery people don't turn up (I repeated- use the taxi and drop the parcel at my place before heading to the airport) and its 40kg, very heavy (she (the housemate) is not alone, she has a family with her which are not disabled).

I find a few things irritating.
1- Why leave things last minute when you left ages ago.
2- Why must you trouble other people when you can sort it out yourself. You're paying for the taxi anyway so ask the taxi driver to drive it to my place so you don't need to purposely trouble other people.
3- Why didn't your housemate call the delivery company when they were late (oh wait, she was so busy till she can't reply me)

Oh whatever. The stupid parcel is in my house now anyway. No point complaining right?

I guess it's obvious that I rather appreciate my local friends here than some stupid fellow countrymen that only use me whenever they feel like it.

Awkwardness

2 scenarios happened in the same morning

1- In the middle of bathing with shampoo on my hair when the delivery guy that I was expecting phoned to tell me that he is outside.
Whats should I do?
Run out naked with towel wrapped around me?
Wear clothes over wet body with shampoo on the head?
Let him wait?

2- Someone on FB messaged me to get my friend's phone number because this person wants my friend to be involved in a project. But the person didn't ask if I am interested too. (Well, I am to be honest but felt awkward to ask if I can get involved)

Ya, awkwardness to the max...

found this in the internet, so true lol

A New Chapter

You can now officially become Bugs Bunny and say 'What's up, doc?' =P

Yup, yours sincerely has finished studying for the same degree for 4.5 years (5 if you include the 10 months break before coming to UK).

How do I feel now?
Honestly, scared, nervous, happy, glad, excited nothing.
I guess reality hasn't sunk in yet. I think it will hit me hard when I start working end of July =|
I just hope that I won't kill anyone!!

But anyway, I would like to thank
my parents for their financial and mental support,
my friends for putting up with me and my rants,
my teachers for being so patient and always being so encouraging,
my colleagues/ seniors who have been so nice and so willing to impart their knowledge with me,
and everyone else who one way or another helped me in reaching this stage.

Thank you so so much!!!

I recently put up this picture on Facebook

and boy did I get so many likes and comments.
I am really good in keeping the newspaper articles a secret ain't I?
It was published 8 months ago =P

My HELP (A Levels) lecturer congratulated me and wanted to read the articles so I forwarded them to him and the next thing I know, HELP uni wanted to highlight my success in their newsletter.
Talk about beginner's luck! (My housemate said HELP wants to milk my fame to the last drop LOL) 
Hmm, now to choose a nice close up picture of me to send to them.

I was looking back at my latest post and I didn't mention anything about the competition. I guess I didn't want to really boast about it but since the cat is out of the bag, let me share what happened.

I saw this competition in a website while I was in my psychiatry block (and psych block is really chill and has nothing much to do) so I decided to join and have fun. The regional heat (the competition before finals) involved the whole UK and 20 finalists from 19 regional heats will get together at Edinburgh for the finals. After seeing and repeating what was demonstrated, I learned how to tie surgical knots, excise sebaceous cysts, suture and stack sugar cubes with the laparoscopic equipment. While the judges were deliberating for the winner, I was ready to go. I was all packed and was putting on my huge jacket ready to leave when my number was called.

I was shocked to the core and when I walked out to receive the envelop (letter for the finals), my small beady aka chinese/ sepet eyes were wide and huge. One of the judges asked me not to look so shocked and should be more confident of myself.
How could I?! Other participants who were way better and has more experience in surgical skills (I believe they had surgical skills lessons back in year 1 or 2) did not win while I, a total noob, a newbie, a novice who knows nuts just got the result that she beat them all to emerge as the regional heat winner and will represent the North part of Scotland for finals.

I was in disbelief for days until I realised I can't go on being an amateur and represent this part of Scotland in the finals. So I started to watch youtube videos on surgical skills and managed to get some guidance from one of the retired surgeon who is still teaching and recently just retired (again). He was so good in making me believe in myself. All the praises and encouragement was priceless and boy did it boost my confidence level.

Anyway, as expected, I did not win in the finals but I got to use even cooler surgical equipments and got to do surgeries that only a year 6 and above surgical trainee got to do. Boy was I glad that I won the regional heat and was given this rare chance =)
* Another thing to share- I scored the highest in the laparoscopic station woohoo!! *

Now, as a graduate and a soon-to-be-working person, I am expecting a few same questions that will be bombarded to me.
From my relatives:
   So got boyfriend already ah? When are you getting married o?

From my colleagues:
   What's your plan? Which specialty are you going to apply? Where?

From my friends:
   Eh, why my __ like this ah? Got problem is it?
   I am not feeling too well, what should I do...
   Eh, you earn a lot more right? You treat.

I just need to prepare the standard answers and be patient when answering them =)


Hmmm, if only I know when will I ever get to go home...

Life moves on...

Similar to the name of my blog, life must go on and life has moved on.

My fellow classmates and friends scattered all around the world have graduated and stepped into the adult world. They have started facing the hardship of the working world, finding new love and settling down while I remain here, the same, stopped in the world called 'Student'.

In another 2 days, I will sit for my finals and hopefully pass this last leg of the race to join the league. But...
Am I done with my student life?
Am I ready to be responsible for others' life/ health?
Am I prepared to see people I become attached to stepped into the afterlife?
Am I brave enough to take risks and change?
Am I?

I don't know and I am not too sure, but I guess I have no choice but to just step up and carry all these uncertainties and move on with life, playing catch up most of the time too.
(If this is the life that I am going to live through, I hope that it would be one that is smooth sailing.)

The future that I foresee will be filled with self doubt, stubbornness, dilemma, fear, worries, stress and maybe an escalation in my partial OCD and mild eating disorder but everything will be fine, yes, it will be fine.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

Maria Robinson

Friends, they play a huge part in my life.
When I know that my friends are doing well in life, I sincerely feel happy for them from the bottom of my heart and when things are not going smoothly, I worry and over compensate by doing unnecessary stuff just to try to help, sometimes to even step out from my comfort bubble and sacrifice as much, hoping to just put a smile back to the rightful place.

At such time, I always wonder, is there someone else doing the same thing? 

Will I get someone like me around when I am in the gutter? 

At the moment, I want to say I have. I think I have but distance just makes everything blur and some people here who I call friends are proving themselves to be people I should not care as much. The evil values from the Pandora's box is practiced strongly here, to the point that I feel disgusted and nauseous thinking about it. But there must be something good in everyone right? And I too, am afraid has been drawn to the dark side a couple of times but self doubt (my greatest gift to myself) came to the rescue and brought me back to the bright side.

I have been let down countless times but thanks to my friends back home and housemates who put up with me, who are kind enough to accept me for me and entertain my stupid-ness, I am still being hopeful. Without them, I am nothing but a ball of anger.

I am not sure what's the point of me writing here but some things are better written down than allowing it to brew in the mind, poisoning and clouding the consciousness.

So let me end this post on a happy note.

It is sunny out there and I should start my revision so...

Things I do at 2.30am to NOT study =P

Hello hello!

Well, it has been a long long time since I last post something here. 2.5 months to be exact. Compared myself to the old me who religiously posted something everyday few years back until someone told me 'isn't it weird to tell random strangers in the cyber world about your thoughts and inner self?' That made me stop and think and well, I can't say that it did not affect my blogging habit but heck it. I have been writing things here for the past few years and nothing is going to stop me. Not even if my fingers are cut off because there is something called 'speech recognition'. I'm not that noob anymore.

Come to think of it, my writing style haven't change much (I think). I'm still so childish and so happy go lucky even though most of my post were emo posts but hey, I AM an emo person so shoot me =P

So why am I here. Obviously because I am having the mood to type something, to share what I got to say and to erm, make you feel happy for me too?

I have to admit, emotions have been running high and low on fuel and when it's low, it really is low. After 4 weeks of movies, animes, manga and drama series, I finally am ready to take on the world!! Not.

I was just bored of the things I was doing and maybe there was nothing much left for me to watch or read hence I decided to start my elective report seriously and after 16 hours of typing, Googling and referencing, I finally finished my 25 pages long report. Nope, I did not copy and paste, all purely typed out from my mindless head. I did spent a good 6-7 hours the day before reading as much statistics to decide on which test to find the statistical significance for my data. It was more confusing and I needed help! I was | | this close to emailing my A Level statistic lecturer to ask for her help but the thought of disappointing her just put me off. Can I tell her 'Sorry but the knowledge you passed down to me is down the drain and I need your help now'? No way, I can picture her disappointed sad face and her thought process of 'what did I do wrong to afford this student.

Anyway, thanks to my awesome friends and Google, I finished my report 3 weeks ahead of the date line. How nerd am I? Well, nerd enough to watch 50 episodes of Naruto in a day to finish 500 episodes and nerd enough to sit and type for 16 hours straight (no lunch no dinner). Unfortunately, not nerd enough to lift up any medical books. I have a confession. The last time I read something medical was err, 3-4 months ago? Hey, I know I need to buck up and erm, I'll try =P

Another happy news to share- I got my first choice in location and department to work after I graduate.
Yup, licence to kill soon!! Can't wait =P
Not really. I actually want to be a student longer or should I rephrase and say that I am so used to be a student that I am afraid of the working life and the responsibilities that come with it. Nope, not going to quote Peter Parker's uncle at all. I am going to be so busy in the departments that I choose but hey, it was my first choice hence I'm sure I put in quite a lot of thought into it and hence, no regrets.

But, firstly, I need to pass my exam and graduate.

General election back at home is happening soon and I am SO NOT involved in it. If I were back home, I might be hyped up about it but since I am so far away, I don't really care. Not that I don't care bout my country but I just feel like I can't do much or contribute much for this GE. I am not flying home to vote to begin with and erm 'ashamed to admit this' I have not registered. AH, a contribution to the GE- no phantom vote under MY name =P

On another note, I feel so dumb and why in the world did I type so much crap? I blame it on report writing since I got to elaborate and elaborate and jeez, just stop typing. I think I should activate my speech recognition application and play around with it. I recalled shouting at my laptop because it doesn't understand me haha.

Right, enough babbling from mua.
Have a great day =)

Snow a month into Spring