Too Spontaneous Unlike Me

I just returned from home (Malaysia) on 2/2/16 and have been trying hard to surpress my homesickness. Besides needing to cope with new job, new hospital, new environment, new colleagues, new computer system, I have jetlag to deal with. I've been sleeping at 8pm and waking up at 11ish pm and forcing myself back to sleep at 1-2 am yet waking up at 3-4am. I have been struggling with fatigue for the past 3 days.

This morning, I woke up at 4am and was on Fb. There were so many CNY wishes and videos about going home to celebrate with family. I suddenly felt so sad and couldn't contain my tears, bawling my eyes out while trying to be quiet. Just 30min before heading out to work, I had the craziest idea. I could try arranging my annual leave today and fly out tonight.

I felt like I had a mission and the rest of day was a blur. I was having second thoughts after asking the rota person. I had more doubts after speaking to my consultant who was the head of department. I was unsure if this is a correct decision. I had no more rationality but I knew that adrenaline was pumping ferociously in my veins.

My dad and bro said 'it'll be too tiring'. My mom said 'come home if you miss home, don't if you need to stay back'. I was indecisive. Am I too irrational? When my junior colleague asked how much is the flight, it dawn on to me I didn't even check. Anyway, I thought since I've managed to arrange my annual leave, might as well just go. I have spent 2000£ for the past few days registering for exam, courses and now this flight.

My friend offered to pick me up from airport and send me to airport if I need to. I have too many friends that are too nice to me. By 3pm, I've bought my flight ticket. I'm going! My registrar and colleagues from previous jobs were supportive and encouraging. Miss them a lot.

Currently in airport. I feel sick, nauseous and hungry as I have yet to have any meal besides my cereals at 5am. I can't believe it. I'm flying home after coming back for 3 days.

First time being too spontaneous. First time surprising my family. First time having a friend picking me up from airport. Many first times but not the first time home for CNY and hopefully not the last.

Hopefully I'll have a safe flight and boy there's so many ppl on the plane. I guess home is where the heart is =}