Amazing birthday celebration

Well if you have been following my blog, you'll kinda get the gist that I am not good in birthdays or celebrations. Ever since I came to UK, my birthday celebration, or no celebration has been something I got used to. To me, if there is just someone that actually remembers it, I will feel so happy. If there is a celebration, it'll be a bonus.

This year, I had a great, amazing, fabulous, mind-blown birthday!!

I met up with my 2 ex-housemates and we went visiting England together and had our (belated) birthday celebrations. It was really nice and I was so elated =)

After exam, went for a 2 days course which was really fun!
Then off to meet up with 1 ex-housemate at Glasgow where I finally had a taste of good Asian cooked curry. Next, we went to Lancaster to meet up with the last ex-housemate.

The 3 of us meeting up was really something I never dreamed of or something that will happen in reality. To be able to be in the same room, breathing the same air, talking, teasing, laughing together and catching up was so surreal. I couldn't believe that it was happening. (cue for tears)

The next morning, we went to Liverpool and oh ya, it was my birthday too. The suite that we stayed in was WOW!! Seriously WOW and luxurious expensive too but it's worth it!! And for the first time after a long time, I got myself something expensive as a present. To be honest, it was something like a memorabilia for this amazing trip. Oh ya, we had tonnes of coffees and cakes too.

Then we went our separate ways. I went to Manchester to catch up with another friend who came all the way from Aussie then I nearly couldn't catch the train went to Chester and met up with the 2 of them again. The thought that 2 of them had some bonding session without me really made me giggle like a silly person =)

Chester is a really nice town and after a night of boring horror movie with ciders, we bid it goodbye to travel to Windemere. Lake district is beautiful and after hours of feeling sick in the tour van, we bid goodbye to each other for real this time. It was sad but all good things must come to an end.

I stayed overnight at Glasgow and we just lazed around watching TV and having our favourite food- Indomie =P

Back to Aberdeen, the house was cold and dark (current housemate was on night shift) and I felt so lonely. It was not a great feeling but it passed very quickly because the house was dir-to-the-ty. Oh gosh!

Anyway, I am thankful, glad and very appreciative to have such amazing ex- housemates who were so patient and so tolerant with me. Being together for 5-6 nights without any tension really showed how comfortable we are with each other after 2 years of staying together. The laughter, the lame jokes, the ninja style selfies, the inside jokes, the trust among us is really something that is so difficult to re-create with anyone else. For the first time, I didn't count or care how many wishes I got this year too!

Thank you for everything, I miss you guys already =/
I wonder if such trip can happen again?

Sad day

Just got news that one of my patient who was transferred from CCU to ward died yesterday. It has been a long battle, RIP

Then I found out the pt who's DNACPR form was signed by me last Sunday before my 4 days off, died the next day. Haven't found out what happened and how he passed on but it's so sad. At least he's not suffering anymore.

2 deaths when I'm not on, I don't know it's a good thing or not. It's either I'm holding on to them for too long, prolonging their suffering or it's just their time to go.

But isn't it kinda coincidental that they both died when I'm not there? Maybe I am thinking too much =/

One of my friend's status on FB today
'When your patient you've worked so hard to keep alive for 2 months tells you he'd rather die, it suddenly puts everything we do into perspective. Health is so little about being alive, but having life. Something we do so poorly sometimes.'

Really reflects today's news =/

RIP

Amazing day =)

Today has been amazing.

Yesterday was crap.

So lets talk about yesterday. I felt crap because I have been working everyday since early August and only had 2 weekends off. Then on the weekend, I have to cover CCU, Cardiology ward, Renal ward and other wards that have cardio or renal patients. Running all around hospital is not fun. Other than that, I helped the junior file and chased all 30 pts notes and bloods. Never swore and grumble that much in my head before.

So today my day started with the notorious consultant being alright with me and he even signed my form that he didn't need to sign (I needed to get my educational sup to sign for me but he is off). Then I had a crash bleep, to run to A+E resus. A guy had cardiac arrest at home and is being flew over by the chopper. As as soon as he arrived, we were all over him, and he was unwell, really unwell. I did a cannula and bloods then ABG on him. In emergency situation, I did not realise that I was bleeding. It was when I saw my glove was stained with blood, inside out that I realise that I scratch myself with the needle and I think, stab myself at my finger prior to the ABG.

I helped the ITU consultant who's also a surgeon prepare arterial line and central line stuff and after the whole ordeal, he approached me and thanked me personally for helping. Wow.

Next, I signed my first ever DNACPR. One of my favourite pt is dying. It pained me to see the family members crying around him and to see him looking off colours =(

Then the nurses also told one of the anaesthetist that although they don't say it, I am very good (*shy*)
It is difficult to please the nurses and reg at the same time but I guess I found the right way.

Officially finish at 5pm but only left at 6pm, typical, nothing new. I have been leaving the hosp at least one hour late. Anyway, left hosp feeling great because the sun was shinning and it was warm. It has been raining and dark when I left hosp for the past few weeks.

Overall, it was a good end to my August day shifts, next, I'm only working 8 nights in Sept. Then back to working almost everyday (again) in Oct.

New start

It's been a while since I ranted. Maybe because I've been ranting to my housemates, well now ex-housemates, so here I am back again.

I've progressed to a new department, with a new title, with more responsibility and more stress. What irks me the most is the working hours.

Let's start systematically.

1. I rather start early (since I am awake by 5ish 6am anyway) and finish early. This whole 9am-9.30pm crap is just so annoying. Worse is when your colleague doesn't appear at 9pm for the handover and I end up leaving work almost 10pm feeling so annoyed and angry and I'll be grumbling to myself like some crazy person having hallucination while walking home.

2. The department is so disorganised! Let me break it down- There's 2 places that I need to cover. A is for pts who are more unwell and sick whereas B is for more stable pts but with a problem that needs to be addressed.

So B is super super disorganised because there's just too many pts to care for and there is lack of staff and support from seniors. I am expected to lead the ward round for half of the ward and there's always pressure for beds for new admissions so I ended up choosing pts to be decanted (transfer to another ward so that the new admission have beds) or discharged. When the pts ask difficult questions, I feel so stupid and guilty for the inability to answer them correctly, I could only guess and reassure them. When there's decanted pts, I'll need to keep track of them and walk around the whole hosp to see them and to have a plan for them.

A is a place where pts are properly sick. I'll be holding the crash bleep too so when the bleep starts talking and telling me which ward to go to, I'll need to carry the mega huge bag filled with drugs and defib to the ward and go through ABC +/- shock them. Part of the job includes reviewing ECGs sent in by the paramedics or GPs to be reviewed and direct them to appropriate place, be it B or A&E or AMIA etc.

I have been working in A this past week and it's been alright because the nurses who has been there forever has been guiding me and giving me tips. Seniors are just a phone call away too. But today the nurses were different and not that nice, started giving me hard time and ranting to me for the inappropriate referrals that the reg accepted. What do you want me to do, he's the reg and he's been pressurised too by that other department consultant who has way more experience than any of us and insisted that her pt have to come to our ward instead. Oh well... my colleague who has been working in B for the past week has been so stressed and she told me she's been crying when she got home =/

3. I really hate joining the ward round in the middle of it. The reg and consultant starts the ward round before 9am and they do not expect me to come early so I'll need to check what they wrote in the notes to catch up with the jobs. Hate the working hours, refer to 1.

4. After 5pm on a weekend and nights, I need to cover another ward which has tonnes of sick pts too. The sheer thought of it is just so scary since I don't know any of them and they're circumstances such as if they are fluid restricted or for transplant etc.

5. I have no time to study for my coming exam. Coming home at 10 ish pm feeling angry and tired is not ideal. Refer to 1 again!


But on a brighter note, I get my jobs done and it's so easy to get people to review my pts (maybe because pts are sick). And it's the weekend!!! It's the first of my 2 weekends where I am not working =)
Oh, and my new housemate is alright too =)

Well there goes my first rant, there will be more since I am starting on B next week. I will cross that bridge when I get there, in the meantime, I should sleep soon but I have to study too..hmm...should get my priorities right...SLEEP indeed =P

Travels

When I was young, traveling was never in my list of dreams but now, it is =)

I used to dream to have everyone as my friends.
Now I want to visit everywhere to meet everyone to make them my friends.

Well, baby steps to start off with.

I have been to
April 2011
- Scotland (and started to call home) (A + F.)

July 2012
- London (F)

Dec 2012
- Italy (F)

June 2013
- Germany (F.)

September 2013
- Serbia (A)

October 2013
- Prague (Czech Republic) (F.)
- Vienna (Austria) (F.)
- Bratislava (Slovakia) (F.)

March 2014
- Belgium (A)

May 2014
- Ireland (A)

June 2014 (soon)
- England (F.)
- Amsterdam (F.)
- Paris (F.)

(A- alone, F- friends, F.- family)

I have been to Paris and Amsterdam ample of times but it was for flight transit. This coming June, I will properly soak in the atmosphere and enjoy the cities.

I still want to visit many more.
Portugal, Norway, Spain, Copenhagen, Austria, Sweden, Finland, Croatia, Turkey and Greece are my top choices.

If I were to be back at Asia, I want to visit Japan, Australia, New Zealand, South Korean and Singapore (transit at the airport for few hours but not seen the city).

Time and money is all I need.