hey yoh!!

Hey hey, how is everyone? I am currently having a hectic week because every time I open my book to revise, some voice in my head will repeat ~~ I am going to fail my 1st test!! Yes, I am going nuts and this is only my 1st semester.

Currently there is a lot of clubs having freshie party and election. I will admit. I miss my school life in secondary school because I miss bossing people around and knowing that you have the power to make people do things. Since form 1, I was sort of the section leader in band and was the monitor in class. Form 2, I officially became the section leader and sort of the junior leader and still was the monitor. Then came to form 3, 4 and 5 where I held more and higher posts in various clubs and uniform bodies.

OK, maybe I am crazy of power, bossy and a control freak but all this were in secondary school!! In college I was not active in anything (since we spent almost everyday studying or attending class till 4pm). Now in university, looking at all my batch mates holding post in various club just make me feel jealous. I was a bossy control freak and now I am just a normal student without extra curriculum life aka NERD.

I want to get back to my active life where I go everywhere and will say HI to every single person I bump into. I miss those days where people just come up to me just to strike up a conversation. I miss those days where I can help the "naughty" students to escape their punishment. I miss making real important decisions. I miss those days where people just come up to me just to "bodek" (lick my shoes?) me. I miss being someone powerful.

Enough said, remember PBL session? Where we were given triggers or situation and we got to make hypothesis and come up with learning issues? Example...

Ms. Jay fell down and heard a crack. She can't move her knees. Our hypothesis are she has a fractured leg, she broke her spinal cord...learning issues are which spinal cord is connected to her knees, what bone is easily fractured...

You get what I mean? OK, back to the story. We are all suppose to come out with 8 learning issues or more and do our research on all 8 then present together. But my group did it differently. We divide all the learning issues so each person have a topic to present. YOU KNOW ME....I usually do all the learning issues and will add any extra info after the person present (OK, call me nerd but we ARE SUPPOSE TO DO ALL!!). So today, we had PBL session and I did my usual stuff. But one of my group mate make it a big issue and a few started calling me professor Jene. The moment I heard that "compliment", that voice came again!! I WILL FAIL MY 1ST EXAM!!!! AAAhhhhh......

Anyway, Mr.Chan who has been our facilitator since the 1st PBL session is gonna leave us. We will surely miss him because he is funny is a way because he is sort of sarcastic and can you believe that he actually did the sweat sign with his 3 fingers( lll) when we come up with something really stupid? Next week onwards, all facilitators are switched and we got a real professor as our faci and apparently he is those strict serious type where we got to do all the learning issues and everyone got to present and talk about it at the same time. I don't know how are we gonna do it but since other groups did it, I guess we can manage too. What I pity is that one of my group mate who loves to joke around and come up with weird hypothesis will suffer. Weird hypothesis?? EXAMPLE...

Jack Sparrow (yes, this name was used) brushed his teeth everyday and noticed that his gums bled but the bleeding stopped after a while.
His hypothesis~~ He had french kiss and did it too hard...
We~~??? But everyday???
Him~~~ coz he did it everyday mar....

Yes, he is the one that made us laugh and enjoy our PBL session. And do you know that personality will never change(truth!!) till the day you die? So gals out there, don't ever believe it when a guy tells you that he will change for you...So, I wonder how will our PBL session next week will go on. Hehehe, we sort of got a plan....after we pretend that we finish our 1st PBL session, we will come back to the same room and still will delegate the topics. Before the second session where we got to present our learning issues, we will gather again and have our own PBL session and sort of rehearse. (SMART??? Muahahaha....SWT!!!)

Ok, so far so good...here it comes again....I WILL FAIL FAIL FAIL!!!!!
Yeah, take care and have a nice day and remember to drink lots of water and stay happy. Guess I got too much glucose from late lunch just now. Heheheh....

But then again....since when I give up on things easily??
No I wont fail any exam!!!!

old old post

I was reading back my old blogs at live spaces and it's all so funny and emo. One of it that I think was my best post ever was this...written on May 26, year 2007.

Heart Break

Do you know how hurtful it is to get all these crap from you!!!

Of all....U!!!! Don't you know how important you are to me!!!!

The things you are doing to me....

Break up is the best solution....

But knowing me....giving up is not a choice....it'll never be a choice....

Haih...I just don't know what to do....

really confuse.....

Thinking about all these crap just make my headache worst....

It's getting worse day by day....

Are you happy seeing me like this??

If so...FINE!!!

So be it.....

You are just another cruel creature....

I'll hate you forever....

but....

I fell too deeply for you....

Its just not easy for me to just forget about you....

After all the effort I put in...

After all these years.....

Its just hard.....

I just wonder....

Why now?? Why at such hard time??

I'm just so sad....

You always make me feel so depressed...

You know that YOU are the culprit for all my so call depression!!!

Why cant you just change??

Just be a little more easy for me to understand you!!!

I'll never ask for more....

Just this....just THIS!!!!

Aaaaaahhhhhh!!!!

See!!! My head is singing again....

Want to know the rhythm??

Tt goes...ying..ying...ying....

So now you know....will you change??

Will you really change??

I don think so....

I think you'll never change....

You're just stay the same and continue to make me feel sad....

I want to feel proud of you again....

Why don't u let me??

Why?? Why??

What did I do wrong this time??

Why just cant you be easy on me??

I just love you so much to let you go....

Will you ever understand??

Haiz....

I know you'll never....never....NEVER!!!!

How I wish you would.....

Then I wont suffer so much....

Can u?? Please?? PLEASE???!!!

Haiz...I know I don't have even the slightest chance....

Never mind.....I'll just try my best to overcome this obstacle....

So be it if I'll be alone this time....

I tell you....I will never give up!!!

Just hope that I really wont break down....

Further Maths~~~~

I want to score A!!!!

So can you not break my heart and be easier??

G0t 0ver

I have so much things to tell especially things that happened this past week. I am so sorry for not updating because, I could not find time to use the computer.

Let me just go to the main points and reduce the elaboration....

My lecturer sang a song entitled Roza Rio to start his lecture on Heart. Cool eh and the day before that lecture was his wife's birthday. This lecturer was/is a surgeon and he's from Sri Lanka. He's initial is JP and his wife's also JP. Cool eh. Both teaching in the same University. And I have no idea why I can't treat these lecturers like how I treat my school teachers and college lecturers. I guess knowing that they are qualified doctors just make me scared to be too friendly to them.

Next, on Monday my group members went out for a steam boat and I being my usual self skipped lunch and end up with a gastric. And guess what, I had tom yum despite of the pain in my stomach. After finishing the meal, I had cramps and when we went to Carefur to have ice-cream, one of my OO brought me to the Guardian and introduced to me a gastric pill that is effective and it is chewable!! After eating one, the pain was still there so I pop another one and the pain was still there. It went off after I went to bed and woke up in the morning.

On Wednesday, my college mates had gathering and AT LAST MET UP WITH KARAM!!!!!! Yeah, I was so happy and all of us talked for solid 3 hours!!! This shows that we all miss each other from the bottom of our hearts, well, I do. Anyway, you might be thinking that a group of 11 peeps must have their own small group of conversation. I would say yes and no because Edmund who was sitting at the end of the table spoke to me which was also sitting at the other end of the table!!!! hahaha!!!

OMG!!! I found another Neha!!!! If you know what I mean, this person is way worst than her because this person really irritates you to the maximum and since everything is so much tougher to understand and absorb, this person just does not help and making me hating everything bout that person!!!! Grr....

My hp spoiled already!! It can't vibrate anymore so if I put it in silent mode, I wont know any incoming message or calls!!! Sad....

Today, instead of studying I went shopping with mother because I need a jacket very badly. What I have in mind is the jacket I wore to college, those normal sweater type but mom instead bought me a formal jacket/coat. Gosh, imagine me wearing that jacket just to be in the library.

Now, I know all of you guys are having guessing games about my post entitled "l0ve st0ry''. To be honest, I did not know why I wrote and even post it up but well, my explanation goes like this...

Ok, Jian Wei, you guessed right. Ok, it is about someone and it is quite clear in my post what's happening right?? Well, let's say that I found reasons to get over it (at last). I found out that he is not the "perfect guy" that I thought he was. I don't know if this is my heart or my head speaking but whatever it is, I am so gonna get over everything based on the recent discoveries bout him.

~~~If you just realise what I just realised.....

sung by colbie caillat but have diff meaning...lol

Today is Ash and Angeline's birthday so..HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO BOTH OF YOU!!!

Short and straight to the point right? LOL

replies on previous post

I AM NOT IN LOVE!!!!!!!!




JW dear....don la so scared....lol...i don do stupid silly stuffs

l0vE st0Ry

Do you believe in long distance relationship? Till now, I still do not believe in it. Well, I don't even believe in love-in-the-1st-sight. Fate? Yes, I do believe in this.

It's been almost 1.5 years and it is still fresh in my mind. It sometimes still hurts. It sometimes just makes me wonder what if I accepted and tried making it work. The things that happened changed my life and the way I look at it.

When I get news about the whereabouts, I just want to know more but the more I know, the more it hurts. How can memories are just left behind and move on just like nothing had happened? How could it be so? And within few months, a new one came in the picture. I just could not believe it and how much it affected me after getting the news.

Maybe I was the one giving problems and not making decision right on time but the decision making and rationalising it is just isn't in me. Hearing my thoughts and explanations, agreeing to it making it harder for me to make up my mind and not being encouraging is one of the reasons too.

Anyway, when I am angry I really hope bad things happen but when it is raining, I become emo. Just like now...raining heavily, listening to the raindrops beating on the concrete, feeling cold, smelling the grass-smell and listening to that song reminds me of everything.

It is still aching and I just realised that I still could not let it go...just yet....