Sudden change of emotions

Since the start of holiday, I had a moderately constant feelings, not too happy or too sad.

BUT

This week especially today, I went through a mode of VERY happy to just happy then to annoyed then to angry and lastly to depressed. I have no idea why the sudden change of emotion just because of certain news received at the moment.

Elective today was fun thanks to June. We were practically trying to match make her with her head of surgical department Dr.Chan then changed topic to how many kids she'll have to our future of being a doctor. We were all just laughing our heads out at the cafeteria.

Next, Thama and I went and continued our electives and I was still in the happy mode.

Later in the afternoon, I was still stuck in the hospital alone because my dear mother was settling her case at court. She told me it'll take an hour but she took longer than that, she took almost 3.30 hours!! I was annoyed because she did not reply any of my messages and I was a little hungry. The food in the hospital was so limited and kinda dirty looking, so not appetising.

Next, when my mother was on the road and being her indecisive self again, it made my temper flared because she was wondering whether to go to Selayang Mall or Jusco and she always do the last minute turn which is so DANGEROUS!!! It's not the 1st time she's doing such thing and mind you I was tired, hungry and I don't want to meet with an accident or die.

I just went and check the sem 4 time table and found out stuff that I don't want to know. It's not that bad honestly, just need to hang in there for the new system and hopefully after endocrine system it'll change but another news made me felt so depressed. My best friend is going to move out from her house because she had enough of the things happening there. She'll be staying out, stop receiving allowance (she actually stopped receiving months ago), stop using the car which was her 18th birthday present and start a job (something that is not related to what she's studying such as salesgirl or something along that line)!!

I am so worried.

It may sound easy to just move out, rent a room, work and survive but I honestly think it's not that easy. Even though you might find it shocking coming out from me but I do feel that family is important. I don't want her thinking that she has finally let go and escaped but getting trapped again 10 or 20 years down the road. Blood relationship is not that easy to be forgotten and let go. I am deeply concerned with her decision. She sounded so happy with that plan and was so glad that all her friends are supporting her decision but somehow I do not support it completely and I really feel bad.

SHE tried to talk sense into ME but I just feel so unsettled, so worried, so depressed. I don't know why am I feeling so but I'm just having such unexplanable feelings. I know she was unhappy living there but I just feel that it's not a right and rational decision. I know if she reads this she'll be so disappointed but I just can't help feeling that this decision is not the right thing to do. Hopefully she'll change her mind within this 3 months before she finishes her degree and really excecute her plans which I doubt so. What I can do is just to pray hard that she'll be happy where ever she will be.

I am sorry....

Suspected H1N1

Anyone of you were more alert about your own hygiene lately or have been avoiding crowded area??

Well, I bet most of you did nothing particular to be more cautious because I did not really bother too.

UNTIL

I got a call from my ballet teacher stating that there's a girl from another ballet school who has been confirmed having that virus. Problem starts because all the ballet students (including my ballet school) who joined the end of month ballet concert has been going to that small studio for rehearsals and that girl went too even though she was having high fever!!

Why am I so worked up??

BECAUSE

My sis is involved in the rehearsals and she has been contaminated. If she (touch wood) gets the virus and start having influenza symptoms, I might be having high risk of contacting it too since my sis and I share the same room and I am having my elective in the hospital that has H1N1 patients!!!

Reality hits me and suddenly I am worried. Something I thought would not happen to me might be happening and getting worried now is too late!!! OK, I am not that anxious already but I am sure taking more precautions!!

You guys out there, take care!!!!

I wonder why is the government not shutting down all the schools.
If A is suspected to have the virus, she will be quarantined at home. (Before she went to the clinic/hospital, she has been sneezing and coughing in class and in the public). The parents and siblings lead a normal life, going to work and school and public places. When A confirm having the virus, the whole family or only A gets quarantined BUT the family (and A) who have been contaminated has been spreading the virus unknowingly. So I wonder, how good can the quarantine program help in reducing the spread of H1N1??

Haze is getting worse too!!!

My only car at home just broke down and I wonder how am I going to the hospital tomorrow!!

Bad day... =(

For me =)

08.08.09

I really dont understand myself.. Being so emotional these few days...
It had been many days dreaming of the same person and woke up after the dream and could not go back to sleep.. What is wrong with me??

At 7.00am on a Saturday, i am well awake...
Thinking, day dreaming away...

Yeap. as usual my dear dear jene rescue me from the boredness at around 8.00am..
THinking of jene XXXX just make me feel like crying.. Gonna miss her so much XXXX....
For the past 9 years, no matter what my mood is; whether i am feeling crazy, sad, stress, disapointed or what so ever.. SHe is there for me..
I cry at her bed telling her how i feel.
I call her up n laugh out loud..
Go out n watch crap movie (havent watch any nice movie with her except "SECRET")

There are so many things i havent do with My dear Jene:
Havent really celebrated her birthday with her.. Always gives her her present way earlier..
Havent seen her blow a candle infront of me...
Havent give her a big hug for all the support she gave me...
Havent really take much pictures with her...
Havent seen her performance...
Havent gone shopping with her...
There is just so many havents...

Really love her very much!!! HJ^2C ROCKS FOREVER!!!!

At 10.30am.. Another rescue..
By who?? Of course bro!!
I really duno why.. God is just so kind to me.. Had these two people in my life that is always there for me..

Thank you bro, for taking care of me for d 1 year in secondary school.. That was the best year i had in secondary school.. I had no worries with you around..
You know how unacceptable i was when u were leaving.. Bt i just couldnt imagine without you at the time..

Time past. I became independant without you around.. Bt always scolded you when u call back n find out how i'm doing... I didnt want you to leave me..
But thinking back.. You never did.. You called back whenever you can.. Talk to me for hours..Came back for my birthday party..
I really dont know what made me deserve your love, attention and care^^..
Until now, you are still there for me.. Shared all your experience..
I am so touched when u said that you were thinking of what to do when i go to Singapore to study..
But I am not confident that I am going.. But you were planning for my future..Why are u planing for my future too??

So glad when you said that " I am happy that you are Happy"..
ohya. i miss the big pot of chocolate ice-cream we ate togather ^^
Am i taking things for granted?? I hope I am not..
Coz i really really appreciate you all...

Both of you are the most special friends/family.. I cant even draw a clear line on it...
But i love you both^^.. Thank you both for being around me!!
N i do really need both of you around me...
Cry baby Jayne.. Crying when writing this note :(

************************************************************************

Having someone to write things like this for me really makes me feel weird.
Well, what to do. I am too good as a friend =P
Joking!!
Next week still electiv-ing then another half week and break before class resume.
Classes will be at 4-6.15pm. I hate this timing!! We never had 10-12.15pm!!
UNFAIR!!!!

electives

So far, electives is kinda boring. Nothing to loom forward besides the morning ward rounds. After that there's nothing to see because the MO will key in new data into the system.

But I am thankful to have a kind consultant to talk to us =)

concert night

Well overall, they could have done way better but I guess butterflies in the stomach, mouth dry, panic and all the emotions in this category (sympathetic NS) just made them not perform their best.

There were a lot of out-of-tune, out-of-timing, squeaking from Clarinet section and things that a not-well-prepared band will commit. But since this is not MY band, this is the SCHOOL band, I'll just let all these not affect me. This year would be my last year helping out in such concert anyway.

I was the master of ceremony last night and it went smoothly for me. The previous concert, I was also the master of ceremony. Based on last concert, Jayne and I (we were both the emcee) was forgotten so I assumed it would be the same hence right after we ended the concert I went straight home.

When I was on the way home, messages started to flood in

"Jene, where are you??"
"Come take picture with me."

Opps, too bad. I'm already on my way home and after replying all the messages, I felt bad because hey, this is my last involvement in the concert too =(

So sorry guys, but thanks for remembering me =)

Highlight from last night
-Instead of the full band playing all night long, we had musical ensemble.
-We had juniors singing and dancing (boy, SOME of them just should not sing)
-Mr.Chong (my band tutor) danced as a cowboy along Jay Chou's "On The Run" [牛仔很忙]
-Mr.Chong sang Jay Chou's 菊花台 [Chrysanthemum Flower Bed], a song from Curse of the Golden Flower while the band was playing the same song LOL
-The whole band sang "You Are Not Alone", dedicating this song to the retiring seniors

Well, I enjoyed myself even though I was soaked wet (the hall was so hot and I was wearing long sleeves!!).

Anyway, Good Job band...I'll surely miss you guys =)