All in 1 updates

I am extremely sorry for not updating or visiting your blogs but I did not online or touch the computer the whole week, sorry.

OK, lets start off with the recent stuff.
Friends
I would like to take this opportunity to thank dear Yang Yang for waking me up yesterday. I was supposed to wake up at 5am because got to catch the train and Yang Yang insisted he will wake up at that time just to greet me "morning". I actually asked him not to because he needs his rest and sleep but thank got he did not listen and smsed me at 6am!! That sms actually woke me up and gave me that 15 minutes to get ready before Ale came. Thanks a lot Yang for not letting me miss the train ^^ Besides that, Yang Yang and I are just weird. Every time I take a break from studies and if I look at my handphone and if I think about smsing him (which sometimes I will not since he is using 016), suddenly his sms will come and will give me a surprise. Like this morning, I planned to go for a jog and so coincidentally he also going for a jog with his friends!!! So much coincident!! Its funny how 2 people that met once and for less than 5 minutes can clique and become such good friends. I guess that 8 hours of non stop msn 2 years back helped a lot (try to break our record!!). CK is my evil twin and Yang, you'll be my guardian angel ^^
Besides Yang Yang, I would like to thank JW and Daniel who will call me up instead of leaving comments or words in the chatbox (-.-") when they read something bad like me complaining about stress and all. Its just so funny. People, if I manage to blog it out, it means I will overcome it and don't get all worried OK?

Library
The cubicle in the library has been my date partner this few weeks. Its always the same cubicle at the same place. There's a sem 3 and sem 5 seniors who also like me sit at the same place at the same row so when we meet we'll smile and say hello. I am sort of skipping meals because I am seriously gaining weight. So few days back, the sem 5 senior left for dinner and before she left she asked me if I am going for dinner and well, I said I am skipping. Later she came back with BREAD!!! BUTTER BREAD!! All the sugars and butter and fats!!! But she was just being kind. So when she went to the toilet I quickly went to my bag and gave her my MnM chocolate and put a thank you note. I did not write who was it from and I told her friends not to tell her. Later when she came back she keep asking her friends and they keep teasing that she has a new admirer. It was so funny. After about half and hour later only did she realise it was me and she said "thank you" then few seconds later she added a "sorry". Hahaha, judging by her facial expression, it was just soooo funny!!!

And there is another sem 5 guy who sits nearby and is soooo obnoxious. He burps loudly and many many times, sit in a funny way, talks loudly and bully his friends and make them play catch catch with him!! He is a sem 5 senior and he is under PMS (partner medical school), so sia sui la...noise maker!!! Reminds me of Paul and Tatsuki...MJ, you remember?

Its quiet in library exclude that stupid sem5 guy since the construction work in the library stopped. But I guess I am just to tired to continue because I keep galling asleep. ISH....

Gym
Few weeks back I joined Reza and watched him work out using the gym equipment which is so sucky (most of them are spoil). But this few days I have been joining him because I want to develop my biceps. But recently Arthur came and became our gym instructor. Yesterday we managed to do 3 sets of "routine". Firstly we do 10 push ups, then lie back and do 10 sit ups then go back onto our hands and did 10 push ups and so on. It was fun and FUN!! Later, I also did plank and wow, I managed to hold for 3 minutes, the guys all drop down and gave up at about 1 minute. Will power rules!!! Gals rules too!!

Studies
Ale and Esther, if you are reading this chill ok. I managed to go thru most of my notes and unfortunately I managed to forget most of it. If you want to talk about stress, I guess I am not that stressed anymore. I think it's because I was stressed last week and some how I chilled already (desensitized). Now I am seeing some of my batch mates getting stressed too. Chill people!! We can do it....some how...and ya, just to remind myself which course am I doing, thats why it is tough (haha, excuses...)

Now, I got to continue with my PBL research and AIR topic. Grr....

Till next week, I think.....Miss you guys....

scared and stressed

Today the semester 2 seniors got their EOS (end of semester) exam result. Before that, my batch rep announced that the club "campus friend" where seniors sort of give tutoring is giving tips and hints on what to focus and expect in exam. So there I was kiasu and all(I am not a member by the way), attended and joined in because it was opened for all.

Started well because they started with the chapter which I just finished studying, then slowly it went to chapters which I studies few days or a week ago then to the chapters which I haven really touch yet. There and then, panic strike and I was so scared and stressed and my spelling for all the jargon's words were WRONG!! I was really terrified especially when every senior that came in after receiving their result eventually told us things like "study hard and don't regret", "if you slack some more you will fail" and stuff like that. One of them even came in and was in a very sad tone telling us that his best friend failed.

Later we got to know that about 60 students failed, means they might get expelled!! Now, yours truly here is prepared to get expelled but honestly I don't want to. I was really scared and stressed and disappointed because what I studied before, all was in the waste bin, nothing came back even when the seniors were telling the important keywords. SAD!!!! =(

After the 2 hours of cortisol (stress hormone) pumping (that session lasted that long), I went straight to the library and started studying and going back to all the previous notes. Panic again and suddenly the guy sitting beside me(I was in the cubicle) asked me how was the tutoring session. He was a semester 3 student. Then the gal sitting beside me on my left also asked and she was in semester 5. After both of them sort of got my answer, they were jokingly saying that I am the future "A" student because I am still in the library at that hour. They even added that both of them are still there because they need to study for EOS3 and 5 respectively while I am just sitting for summative 1 where we will not get expelled even if we fail. Only EOS exam will get you expelled when fail.

At that moment when they said such things, my heart drop a thousand meter down and I was really feeling the ultimate stress. Yes I know they are just joking and sort of motivating me but all those words carry a heavy meaning and responsibility and by telling those stuff, I really freaked out and wanted to cry but in the end I just smiled and said "No I wont" and continue scrolling through my notes. Getting the hint they continue studying too.

I am just so scared and stressed out. Will I fail? Ya, they were also discussing about this smart guy who got A- for both summative 1 and 2 but got a C- for EOS2 and overall, he got a C-. C is the passing grade, anything below it is FAIL!!!! OMG, what will my future hold for me??

gosh

I thought you were out from my life?! Why are you back? Disturbing? I thought I told you about my feeling now but why are you still like a parasite demanding for my attention? I am so confused!! Gosh go away!!! Get out from my life and stop making things more complicated. Grrr...


On a lighter note, I had enough sleep today and hence I had so much fun in ballet class but my feet and toes are aching and bleeding. Sad but well, 'no pain no gain'. My abs are killing me too because I did 'plank' yesterday together with Arthur. It is a position like guy's push up but u stay at that position as long as you can and your elbow is on the ground. Practically your weight is on your toes or elbow.

After 1 minute at that position not moving, I started to feel pain at my abdomen, then it spread to my back then to my thighs and feet. Later I could feel my feet shaking and my abdomen muscle to contract. The feeling was WOW and just now in ballet class I could not do back bend or circular port de bra. Back pain plus abs cramp just make class more fun because feeling pain means you are working on some muscle.

OK, call me a masochism but this is my way of working out. OK, I don't know what to add more because life now is quite dull and most of my time I spent making myself settle down to study but my mind will fly to some other place. Yup, gonna flunk exam soon so ya.....

males breastfeed??!!

Well, when you look at the word MI, you might be thinking of Mission Impossible but now, I'll be thinking of myocardial infarction. GI as GI Joe?? Nah, it's gastrointestinal. How about TV? Television?? To me its tidal volume. Let's try VIP. Very important person? Very idiotic person/pig? Well, its vasoactive intestinal peptide to me now. Ya, trying real hard to get all these terms into my small pea brain.

Back to the title--Male breastfeed?? Well, as you know (if you do remember) that prolactin stimulates milk production. When the female get pregnant, prolactin, an endocrine hormone will be secreted from the anterior pituitary gland and it will enhance milk production. Well, males also have prolactin secreted into their bloodstream all the time. Hence, MALE CAN PRODUCE MILK FOR BREASTFEEDING if we increase the prolactin production in them. Some of the guys in our batch say they don't mind because it is a noble thing to do. But when I asked the guy sitting next to me if he will breastfeed, he answered me back in an angry tone NO!!

You see, the world we live in is dominated by males and hence to them getting pregnant, doing house chores and well, breastfeeding is a no-no task to them. The guy sitting beside me added that males will not breastfeed (ever) because God created man that way. He further explained his point--our breasts are small and not enlarged and our prolactin production is low, there has to be a reason behind it so why do you want to change God's creation? Wow, I was not in the mood to debate so I left the topic there and then. Honestly he has a point but he doesn't need to feel that strongly against it right?

Library is a good place to study but (argh!!) it's now under a little construction. Constructor/ table builder are making lots of noise in the library by polishing the soon-to-be-study-table, hammering the nails into them, screwing the tables and so on. The sound from the machine are irritating and annoying and disturbing our concentration. Take an example ~~ prolactin is secreted by anterior 'eeeeeeeeeeeeee' gland. It enhances the 'eeeeeeeeeeeeeee' production. Wow, all the key words are now replaced by that annoying machinery noise!!! I guess during exam I'll write out 'eeeeee' for the lecturers to fail me.

FREAK OUT!!!!!!

I am totally gonna be dead for this coming summative exam.

I cant remember anything!!!

I suck in ballet and the exam is in 4 or 5 more months!!!

I miss my band so much!!!

I for once miss friends that I know they don't miss me!!!

I just want to break free from all these nonsense and lead the life I want!!!

I am getting fat!!!

I am getting weak!!!

I am getting worst in everything!!!

I suck in everything!!!

I don't deserve to be where I am!!!

I don't want to be emo anymore!!!!

I need strength to go on!!!

I will find my inner (intrinsic) motivation!!!

I will improve myself in every aspect I want!!!

I will lead the life I want!!!

I will take control of my destiny!!!

I will overcome this small petty so-call barrier!!!

YES I WILL!!!!!


Btw, David Cook won and yeah!!!!!