Ouch!!! Pain!!!

I was packing and cleaning my room after so many weeks. Anyway, I got tired so went out and pet Spritz. He was lying below my mother's room's window, nicely dozing away. I went and pet until I was happy, then when I stood up, OUCH!!!!!!! I hit my head at the edge of the glass window. I did not realise it was open until I banged my head. Took a nice look at the edge of that window and saw so many strands of hair.

Went into the house, took a look at the mirror and then guess what I saw? BLOOD FLOWING DOWN TILL MY EARS!!! And I did not realise at all!!! Quickly went to the bathroom and wash the blood off. After letting the water flow for a few minutes, MENINGITIS AND LECTURE ON CELL INJURY appeared in my mind. Gosh, will I get meningitis? Will I succumb to blood clot in my brain? Swelling and all...for your info, our white blood cells aka leukocyte actually cause more damage when they do their job.

After that washing and scaring myself session, I went to the mirror and saw the same blood was still at the same place so off I went to hunt for tissues. Wiped it off and I just stoned, what to do next???!!! ARGH!!! Went into my room and smsed a few uni mates and asked for their advice. After chilling, I decided to tell my mother. I hate complaining such things to mother because I know I'll end up in tears. BUT, well, she is my mother so I woke her up and showed her my head.

When she sleeps and you wake her up, she'll be very grumpy and will scold us but this time she opened her eyes wide and asked me what happened. After relating the incident, she say its not deep, just about half an inch deep then SHE WENT BACK AND SLEEP!!!!! So I rather depend on my friends, and I was deciding whether to put antiseptic or not.

Anyway, to cut the story short, my head is still bleeding even after an hour, put antiseptic already and my head is throbbing so badly....will I become dumber?? =(




What I wrote above was written at 2 something. Now, its 6.30pm and when I touch the wound with tissue, it's still wet with blood, yes red blood not plasma ya. Anyway, I think I am being paranoid, know too much disease and keep relating to the things I have learned. I think, I am just Seeking for ATTENTION...so don't worry. Its just me trying to get sympathy and I am not going to see the doctor. Feel stupid if I see one. LOL

1st Chillies with uni mates

I guess Allen still made my day today. Went to uni happily, was not stressed in PBL, had fun in community service club's welcoming party and later at Chillies.

At the welcoming party, I was err...have you had the experience of wanting to tell someone something badly but never had the guts and when you got enough courage to approach him, he's no where to be found? This is about my mother's best friend's son. My mother's best friend was the one that asked my mom to send me to HELP because her son was there, she was also the one that asked my mom to send me to IMU. So he sort of was the guinea pig, testing the water before I dive in. Anyway,his mother helped me a lot as in get me my books and lab coat and all so I thought of introducing myself and ask him to thank his mom for me but, ya I chickened out. How did I know him and he didn't know me? It was more of a coincidence since we share an almost same name. Me Hwei Jene, he Woei Jin....ya, so In HELP some incident happened and that was how I knew who he was.

Anyway the Chillies part. It was at first a little annoying because it all started with the 2 birthday gals wanted to celebrate their birthday, then I wanted to join (How could I resist Molten Choc?), then the guys too so it was supposed to be 5 of us. Later, one of the guy asked another friend who drives (I think because he did not want to pay for taxi or train fee) to go then that guy likes this gal and wants that gal to go and well, more people was included. I don't mind big company but the gal had choir till 7pm and we were at Chillies by 6.15pm and was hungry so we went ahead and waited at Chillies (to book place too). It was a big mess because things were not organised and everything was not following the original plan and guess what? That choir gal was not even confirm if she's going so basically we were waiting for the other 2 who was waiting for this unconfirmed choir gal. You get what I mean?

It was getting on my nerves and to (sort of) pay back, we ordered our food and ate before they came. We 4 were really having a good time, well I was because I was high and happy and talking funnily and I was just so happy. I think it was the thought of Molten Choc. LOL. I was really really really happy and was really really really enjoying myself. We finished our food even before they arrived and so when they FINALLY arrived, we ordered our molten choc .

When OUR choc molten arrived, a few of them came and practically ate half of it for us. I was really really really annoyed by this spoon on my left which was NOT supposed to be there, digging and digging so MUCH!!!!!!!!!! Molten choc was supposed to eat like this ----> vanilla ice cream on top + choc cake + choc sauce oozing out=fabulous!!! BUT Noooo...this spoon on my left was digging non stop and hence the vanilla ice cream fell to the side, the choc sauce was all over and not oozing out anymore. Bottom line, this illegal annoying spoon was eating MY portion!!!!! I hate that person (I don't really know who because I was focusing on the spoon on how it destroy this fantastic mouth watering molten choc). So gonna hate this person...FREE LOADER!!!!!! I don't mind if you want to try, few spoons alright la but not la too much!!!! TAK TAU MALU!!!

Yer, so annoying la. When this gang of people came, I actually felt that they were intruding the space 4 of us had. I did not liked their company at all. Sad la that this 1st time had to end like this. Today is the opening ceremony for Olympic right? So when Malaysia was on TV, we shouted M'sia boleh twice and it was so funny. Almost all the customers in Chillies were looking and laughing at us. LOL

I found out that some "friends" do not deserve my friendship at all. I don't care what you feel, hurt or not because if you are that type of person, I don't give a damn. I'll be mean and I'll ignore you so I think that person should not even approach and talk to me because I really can be mean and rude. What type of person am I referring to? The person that makes friends because he can gain advantage or use us to get to some gal he is interested in. Gosh, hate these type of people la. If you are one of it, you better don't let me find out because if you cross my path, I really can make life difficult for you. Shoo!!!!!

On a lighter note, Karam called me again and I had molten choc (even though it was not a very satisfying one)!! AND I had 5 and a half cup of fruit juice!!! 2 apple juice, 1 mango, 1 green guava, 1 tomato (like drinking those can tomato sauce) and hald cup of orange juice. Hahahaha
Mmmmm......me want more!!!! See the vanilla ice cream in the chocolate coating flowind down and see the sauce oozing out?? Mmmm.....

someone made my day ^^

When I walked out from house, I was a little angry because dad did not send me to the train station to catch the train. I was a little annoyed because I was tired especially after my ballet class. But after walking and enjoying the morning breeze, I felt better and did not regret walking to the station. Few more meters before the station, it started to pour and the rain drops on my face made me feel fresh and light hearted. I miss walking under the rain.

When I walked to the ticket counter to buy my ticket, a tall guy and big build was walking towards me but he was covering his face with newspaper (sort of like indulging in the news). I actually did not recognise or even bother to want to look at him but somehow I was curious about him. Suddenly....ALLEN!!!! Hahahahahaha!!!!!!

Allen was one of the refugees who was working in ACTS (the place I completed my COP) and I was drawn to him because of the tattoos on his arm and body. He was (don't laugh) sexy and hot. He was tall and cute and macho all at the same time and he was mysterious when we first arrived at ACTS because he did not talk or mix with us like the others. I was actually counting my days till I meet him at the train station ever since he told me he stayed at Kepong.

Talked to him and found out that he was staying just few shops away from my ballet school!!!! Hahahahah!!!! He even told me that they were talking about me few days back because I haven't been going there for a while. I was actually scared when he say they were talking about me because I scared I did something wrong when I was helping out there, but well, they actually missed me. And I did not know he was already in his 40s, he looked like early 30s!!!! And he has 2 kids already!! One 12 years old, the other one 24!!! OMG!!

Later in lecture hall when I was telling Jing about the whole incident, I have no idea why I was so high, so happy, so funny...LOL...Allen Allen Allen...LOL. I guess maybe he is the guy I consider as good looking (its hard to come by, me considering guys good looking)? I don't know...LOL
AND Karam called me!!!!! Hahahaha....

Anyway, the stupid KTM was late again, for 1 hour and I am so dead because I haven't finish my PBL!!! ARGH but somehow I was not really mad, just annoyed like this morning. We are having CPR class this Saturday, anyone wanna be my dummy? Tomorrow (Friday)going to Chilis....miss the molten choc so much.

Ya, btw...
HAPPY BIRTHDAY JONATHAN CHEW RUZHE!!!!!!!

Sleepiness....zzz...

My feet is still killing me especially my calf!! When I climb up the stairs, I'll be telling myself no pain no pain.....Grr....

Friday in heels, walked around uni, mid valley, Sogo and Dataran...DAMN!!! How can that CC win So You Think You Can Dance??!! She is the weakest of them all, have an attitude problem, cry baby and just HATE HER!!!!! YER~~~~
Saturday, I had ballet class from 1pm til 7pm, so my toes and feet ached even more....
Sunday, went to give out the fliers from 7am till 12pm, walked the whole Damansara and later went to Aminda's house for her farewell party...envy her because she is so close with her family and she really can be Malaysia's mascot--father Chindia + mother Malay= Muhibah!!! LOL

Anyway, so tired and sleepy and worst, had lab session at 8am just now, had PBL at 11am and now here...later having class at 1.30pm then...I'm so dead. BTW, Happy Birthday Yik Jing and happy belated birthday Sharon!!

I have nothing in mind right now, just brain dead and debating with myself if I should go for lunch. Nothing is new except that I am lagging in studies, feeling sooo sleepy and mentally and physically tired and ya, brain dead....


I am so tired and really really scared if I'll do well in exam. Really am so disappointed with myself for indulging too much in band stuff which I should let go by now...ballet...mother and father sort of hinting me to stop my ballet and I don't know after my this exam should I continue or not. So much to do, so much to study, so much to complete, so much to catch up...and so little time!! Where has my discipline gone to? Where has my time management skill flushed to? I am just so angry of myself!!!!!

call me a coward

It's not new for my dad, uncles and sometimes brother to sweep their problem under the carpet. My mother always emphasised that we CANNOT follow their footsteps hence I did not (proven when I was in band). But lately, to be more precise..today I nearly did what my mother warned me not to.

Yesterday was a really tiring day for me. Wearing high heels walking all over Uni, then Mid Valley, then Sogo then at Dataran Merdeka...my feet was really killing me!!! But it was a fruitful day because we got the present, I got the t-shirt and met quite a lot of band friends.

So TODAY, I was supposed to join my 2nd ballet teacher's class. This teacher is very very fierce and when she stares at me, I really really am stressed and scared because I know I did mistakes or did not achieved what she expected and wanted in that routine. Anyway, I was so scared to attend her class today because I know I suck in ballet and I know I will definitely got a lot of scolding so I was in bed, closing my eyes thinking of all sorts of excuses to escape.

It was already 8am and I was still on my bed, eyes closed, cooking up plans, refusing to wake up. By 9am I was still doing the same thing and really really wanted to skip the class (imagine how scared I was!!). By 10am, I decided to wake up and face the music. Die die la!!! Scold scold la!! Just accept it and try to be brave.

Class was at 1pm till 2.30pm, 2.30 till 4pm and 5.30 till 7pm and it wasn't that bad. She did correct me here and there but did not scold me. Thank God!! Hence I realised, I was being a coward and was on the way to sweep my this problem under the carpet, hoping that I'll escape and don't need to bother further. How stupid I am!!!

Have you let people manipulate you?? Well, I realised I am always being used and manipulated. Tomorrow, I plan to catch up on my studies and suddenly my ballet school principal called me and asked me to help her distribute fliers to promote the ballet school. I did try to reject but she insisted and hence I gave in so tomorrow I won't have time to study (DIE!!) but this is not what I want to say. What I want to say is, why am I so easily manipulated? This is not the 1st time and I guess won't be the last time. Some friends and teachers used and manipulated me but I always gave in and follow where ever they want me to do because somehow, the concept of HELPING and REACHING OUT to people have been drummed into me...So...will I ever stop letting people use me?? I doubt so....sad....=(


***I really really miss my band life....I really really miss the sound of drum beat...I really really miss the sound of brass and wood wind instruments....and most of all, I miss being in the competition having thousands of eyes watching me (especially during my solo) and friends cheering for me and the audience clapping for me...I really really really really REALLY miss being in the spot light ^^