FINALLY!!!!!

HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL!!!

Just moments ago, my mother and I finally finished cleaning the house. We started last Thursday, rested on Saturday and Sunday and continued till just now. When I say cleaning the house, I really mean cleaning the house from morning 9 or10 something until evening 5 or 6 something. Every corner is wiped, swept and mopped. Boxes are reopened and stuff that are stored inside are wiped. Dust are eliminated when it is spotted. Anyway, I'm really glad that the house cleaning chore is OVER!!!!

Yesterday, I have no idea what possessed me but I was really feeling down. I did not want to wake up from my bed, and when I did I decided to clean my room. I have no idea what happened but I felt like crying. I keep telling myself I hate changes. I have no idea what made me think that way but I keep remembering sad things. I was so sad that when my brother woke up and watched me clean my cupboard, my eyes were filled with tears. The moment he left to dream on other things, tears started to flow and till today I still do not have a reason for it.

When I cleaned my another cupboard that was filled with presents received during birthday and Christmas, Chinese New Year cards and other sentimental things, my eyes were swelled with tears again. I went through all the cards, present, my eraser collection, sticker collection etc and I keep wanting to cry even more. I can actually remember who gave me all the present and when it was given. I also still have my UPSR slip, PMR and SPM slip that were sticked on my exam table, old yearbooks that were filled with signatures and wishes and now addition of new things from my a level friends.

Going through all the cards made me felt better. When I usually write words in a card, I really mean it and write them from my heart. When I read all the sentences in those cards, I can feel they actually mean it but of course some are standard words. But the effort to make or write something and even post it to me gave me the strength to feel better. When I reread all the letters that my friends and I wrote to each other, I felt happy because we share something common that won't disappear.

I had a lot of "dramas" during primary and secondary school. The things my friends and I quarrel, joked about, gossiped really make me feel that I did grow up and gain experience to make my life better. I miss my friends a lot!! I do hate changes, I do hate to adapt to a new environment, I do hate losing friends just to gain more.

I wish I know what made me felt that way on Monday.