ballet dilemma

It's been a long time since I blog about my ballet life. Now, what I can tell you is I have lost the passion and dedication towards ballet. Ballet is like a routine, something that is a part of my life. When I reduced my classes to twice per week, I felt free and had more time to study.

So I'm having a 10 months break which is a perfect timing for my ballet life since my ballet exam is in Sept or Oct BUT I have no fire to push myself to improve and I suck since I lack practice. If I go in for exam, it is a definite fail and I am serious because my friends who went in last year and are waaayyyy better than me FAIL!!! Even my ballet teacher said I'm taking exam because I NEED to since I won't have the chance next year.

Reasons

Not to take exam
1. I suck and 3 months to train is not enough
2. I've lost the passion and fire
3. I don't see the reason of finishing this ballet route (this is my last grade in ballet)
4. The exam fee is RM 840!!! If I fail, it means I'll be wasting that much of a money
5. If I don't take exam, I'll stop ballet and I have more time to do other stuff like travel and take up other classes (sign language etc)
6. Don't need to waste money on monthly fee which costs RM 540 per month!!
7. Don't need to stress my ballet teacher


To take exam
1. It is the last grade in my ballet life and when I think back, I might not regret
2. Satisfy the "perfect record" in my head (but if I fail, it won't be perfect right?)
3. Don't waste all the previous ballet monthly fees and effort
4. Don't disappoint my ballet teacher by quiting half way when it's so close to the end even though I know I will fail?

If you were me, what will you do??