Decision?

I've made up my mind to not take exam before reading your comments here.

I was teaching ballet and my mother went and pay fees and she had a talk with my sister's ballet teacher (was my ballet teacher when in children grades) and the Principal and now the Principal will ask MY teacher why I am still not ready for the exam after attending so many classes. I think it's gonna be a big hoo-hah and I don't think I'll like it even a bit.

I realised I've totally gave up on myself when it comes to ballet. These few classes after EOS are so demoralising. Seeing me fail in doing triple pirouettes aka turns is so disappointing. I don't know, I'm so angry and sad and depressed looking at myself at the mirrors.

I always wonder why I don't like to perform. There were so many chances in IMU to perform but I've never took the initiative to join my dancing friends. Not once at all. I guess I'm not cut to be in performing arts, I just don't have it in me.

Reading this, I'm sure you can guess how I'm feeling now. To take exam because of the effort I've put in and since it's so close to the end AND not take exam because I know I'll fail even if I work hard? I don't know if I'll regret this decision one day but for now, I've given up on myself.

Feel so aimless now....